The negotiator
by Milena73
Summary: Different version of "Ruslan Denisov" with fictitious scenes and sequel. It's a Keenler-fanfiction, however, will also contain some Red-Ressler-scenes, because this is my secret "dream couple" (not in a romantic way but as opponents/partners). Will have multiple chapters. *Chapter 18 is up now (Keenler/Mystery)*
1. Chapter 1 - Insecurity

_I love "Ruslan Denisov" but wasn't completely happy with a few things in the following episodes. Therefore, this is a different version of 2/11. In the beginning it goes along with the events in "Ruslan Denisov", (although fictitious), then it will leave the track. I'm acting on the assumption again that there is a connection between the characters in the past, however, this story is independent of my first story, "Another pocket watch". This time the connection is a different one, anyway._

_I'm not a native speaker but as it doesn't make any sense to write in my native language in this category I'll do my best to write in English. Editing is appreciated!  
_  
_Chapter 1 is about the flight to Tashkent, Uzbekistan, and fills a gap. (At least I felt it is / was a gap.) Won't tell you anything new in this one but it's important for the rest of the story._

* * *

"How are you feeling?" Don asked when they sat side by side in the airplane to Tashkent and tried to kill the time during the long flight. He had read everything about Denisov and Uzbekistan he had been able to find, now he was tired and bored.

Liz looked up from her book, surprised. "I'm fine," she claimed and didn't even know why. She and Ressler had went through lots of ugly stuff together, had grown together in the course of time. Their relationship had changed. But as much as he disliked to talk about his feelings, she wasn't ready to talk about hers. It was ridiculous. He had even lied for her to protect her and the task force. The problem was - she supposed that the task force was more important to him than she was. It was almost the same situation as with Red. She wasn't sure if Ressler really cared about her.

"You don't look fine," Don said. He thought, she looked pale and unsound. "What did Braxton do to you? And why did he want you to remember your childhood?" Both, Red and Liz, had excluded him, and it made him angry. Why she always had to deal with everything on her own and ask him for help when it was almost too late? Don had the apprehension that they would have to deal with Tom again and that there were things Liz hadn't told him yet.

She neither wanted to lie to him nor wanted to tell him everything. "He wanted me to remember where the Fulcrum is hidden," she replied monosyllabically. Maybe he would stop asking. On the other hand, she knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't.

"What is this Fulcrum?"

"Reddington says, it's a blackmail file affecting a clandestine organization."

"And why did Braxton think that you have it?"

"Apparently someone gave it to me in the night of the fire."

"When you were a child?" Don didn't know much about the fire and her family background. Only that she had been adopted with four by Sam, who had been killed by Red later, that her biological father was apparently a criminal and that her mother had died "of weakness and shame" as Red had told it on her first day.

"Yes."

"Did your parents died in that fire?"

"My father. My mother had died before. Maybe. I think." Actually, she didn't know anything. Dr. Orchard had said that her recollections were delusive because someone had tried to delete them, Tom had said, her father was still alive, Red however was sure that he was dead. The feeling that she couldn't rely on anyone or anything was horrible.

"Could you remember anything?"

"Very little, and Dr. Orchard said, it's not worth a lot."

"At least, you obviously remembered that Reddington was there that night." This was the only real information he got. It might be one of the missing pieces in the jigsaw puzzle with the name Reddington. Don had always wondered why Red forsook the flag and committed treason. Being involved in an extortion might be a possible explanation.

"Yes, but I don't know why he was there," Liz admitted. Her first reaction had been to blame Red for everything that had happened that night, but if her recollections were wrong, she couldn't be sure about that. In fact, she was uncertain. About everything.

"And do you have this Fulcrum?" Don asked.

Liz hesitated. But after she had already asked Aram to have a look at it, it was impossible to exclude Ressler. "Yes, but I don't know what it is."

"What do you mean, you don't know what it is?"

"It's a small box with a microchip or something like that inside," she described and showed with her hands how small it was. "I have no idea how it works."

A microchip from that time probably was some beta-technology, something experimental, without any device to gather the information from it, Don assumed. "Will you give it to Reddington?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I think that's what he was after. The whole time. Probably he'll disappear, as soon as he has it." Liz folded her arms and saw to the window.

Don looked at her for a while. If she knew that she looked like a little sulking girl right now? He suppressed a smile. "You fear that he'll disappear before answering all your questions."

"Maybe." She shrugged. Actually, it was the feeling that she had been used. That Red had made her think he cared for her, that she meant something to him, and now it seemed as it had been all about that... thing.

Don deliberated a moment whether he should go on questioning her, then, however, decided not to. For now. "What are you reading?" He asked instead.

Again she gave him a surprised look. Was this some kind of diversionary tactic or was he really interested in what she was reading? "Yodgor Obid, an author from Tashkent. The title of the book is _Fate_."


	2. Chapter 2 - Room with a view

_This scene takes place after they met Kushan at the airport and before Liz and Don will meet Red in the hotel._

* * *

Don felt uncomfortable with the fact that they were escorted to the hotel by Commander Kushan's men. Especially because they had had to hand over their firearms. This wasn't an unusual procedure when the FBI operated abroad, but it was seldom that they had been received in such an unfriendly manner. He was sure that there was trouble ahead, that Kushan was going to act up.

He felt naked without a gun, and this led to that he was in a quite bad mood. In addition, they had spotted the CIA and that strange Hugo Boss-guy at the airport. This job was going to be anything but easy.

They checked in, and a page boy showed them to their room. It offered a sitting room with a sleeping area behind a folding screen; a corridor obviously led to the bathroom.

"Where is the other room?" Liz asked when the boy just stood there, smiling at them expectantly, instead of showing them the second room that the Bureau had ordered.

"There back," he pointed to the corridor. "Is suite," he explained in broken English when Liz and Don still didn't react.

"We ordered two single rooms," Don said, "not a suite with two rooms."

The boy shrugged. "Is two single rooms."

"No." Don changed to Russian and started a lively discussion with the boy, whereas Liz looked at her partner in surprise. She hadn't known that he spoke a foreign language at all.

"It's a misunderstanding," Don finally said to her. "There's no other room free."

_Well, at least each of us has an own bed_, Liz thought who felt tired and apathetically. She wouldn't have cared, if someone had shot and killed her right here. She shrugged. "Okay."

Don thought about Kushan. _Maybe it's better anyway when we stay together._ With a sigh he took a banknote from his pocket and passed it to the boy who received it with a rapt smile and immediately said goodbye, left them alone.

"Didn't know that you speak Russian," Liz said.

"I have many talents," Don replied with an ironic smile and added in thoughts: _You just don't know because you're so busy with yourself most of the time._ One second later he felt ashamed of it. She had gone through a lot lately, and he didn't tend to tell much about himself. He could have told her the reason for his language skills. But he didn't. So, he wasn't better than her.

She shook her head, smiling. Sometimes he really surprised her. "Fine," she said, "let's have a look." She went down the corridor, and there really were two other rooms, a bathroom and another bedroom. "Which one do you prefer?"

"Take the back room, then you have some privacy," Don decided. The idea, he would have to pass her bed if he wanted to get to the door, made him feel uncomfortable. He had already seen her in her underwear, couldn't remember it properly, though, because of the drugs they had pumped in him in this fake hospital. He was fine with it. One shouldn't see a female partner in her underwear!

Furthermore, it was better if a possible attacker had to pass him first. If he only had a gun... He only had a small knife, hidden in his belt, so that Kushan's men hadn't found it. Never go anywhere without a knife.*

Why was he nervous in situations like these all of a sudden? He had never been before. Maybe these were the after-effects of the withdrawal. He hadn't taken any painkillers for a while, but the withdrawal had been hard, and the temptation was still there. Every time he didn't feel well. And this was often.

* * *

* Sorry, different series but I couldn't resist. :D


	3. Chapter 3 - The advice

_This chapter takes place after the moment Liz and Don had met Red in the parlour of the hotel. The elevator scene in a slightly modified version._

* * *

"Go get cleaned up," Red said cheerfully.

_We took a short walk through the city centre to get an overview, distrustfully watched by Kushan's men. As if we are in need of a shower because of this_, Don thought amused, but decided not to say anything.

"We'll have dinner. I know a wonderful little hole in the wall that's actually in a hole in a wall."

_Reddington is so crazy_, Don thought when he and Liz walked to the elevator, _it's not even afternoon, and he's having drinks and is talking about having dinner... And somehow he manages it to treat us like children every time we meet._ It annoyed him, but it seemed that there was nothing he could do against it, and in a certain manner it was also amusing. _One of the secrets of Red's success... He steamrolls you before you can open your mouth to say something._

In opposite to Liz, who looked tense, Don was glad that Red was also in Tashkent. He and Dembe definitely had guns, and Red wouldn't allow that anything happened to Liz.

They entered the elevator.

"Don't be so bitchy to him," Don said. It was clear to him that her tactic wasn't useful at all. It would lead to nowhere.

Liz looked at him, indignantly. "I'm not bitchy!"

"Yes, you are." Don had to think of her first day when she had described herself as withdrawn and bitchy. At the moment she was behaving exactly like that. _At least, her self-assessment is right_, he thought.

"I just don't trust him," Liz said.

Don raised his eyebrows. _Wow, what a finding! Has she trusted him before? Really? Is this the problem?_ "Reddington's untrustworthy? Hmm." 

* * *

_(Then they are kidnapped by Denisov's men.)_

* * *

Meanwhile Red stood in the parlour, thoughtfully, the glass in his hand, and he looked toward the elevator. When Dembe joined him, he sighed deeply. "I had hopes, it would be easier. Why she can't be here with Agent Navabi? She would be easier to deal with. Donald will stick to her like an ex-wife after an alimony cheque and ask questions."

"I don't think that Agent Ressler is someone who asks many questions," Dembe said.

Red shook his head. "I'm afraid I conveyed you to a wrong impression of Donald. He isn't stupid at all. He knows exactly what he's doing, and he can easily put two and two together. In the beginning it was nothing else than a tactic to steamroll him with a few insults, so that he wouldn't ask any questions. But in fact, he's a serious opponent."

"Why did you save his life when you fear him?" Dembe asked.

"Because he was misguided and it's not his fault that things are as they are," Red replied promptly. "Moreover, I rather have him to protect Lizzie than anyone else who I don't know. Donald is reliable, a good guy. Lizzie is safe with him - as long as she doesn't pull through single-handedly actions." He sighed again. _Like chaining up Tom on a boat_, he thought grimly. Admittedly Tom had deserved it, but Red feared that it might lead to further trouble. Tom had been misguided, too, but in a completely different way than Donald.

"Is this the reason you tried to protect him from Tanida?"

"Yes." Moreover, he had felt seriously sorry for Donald when Audrey had been killed. Red knew this dreadful feeling of losing someone, and he had felt united with Donald.

"Why don't you use him as a negotiator between yourself and Agent Keen?" Dembe suggested.

Red laughed. "Why should he help me to get something that he doesn't want me to get?"

"Because he is not stupid," Dembe replied calmly. "He probably knows less than you do, therefore he can't find out without you. He knows that the task force wouldn't exist without Agent Keen, therefore he is interested in her wellbeing. She trusts him. At the moment certainly more than you. That makes him the ideal partner for you to fix your relationship with Agent Keen."

Red thought about it for a second. Unfortunately, Donald was by far more difficult to deal with than Lizzie. He knew many things about him, however, wasn't sure about how much Donald knew. He also wasn't sure about how much she had told him. They spent a lot of time with each other, shared an office, however, neither Lizzie nor Donald were persons who revealed a lot about themselves. Donald probably had asked about Braxton and the Fulcrum. And given the fact that she had reacted disappointed and furiously to him, whereas she had accepted Donald's helping hand, it might be possible that she had told him everything.

He nodded to Dembe. "Maybe you are right. Maybe it's about time to involve Donald."


	4. Chapter 4 - Naked in the garden

_After being kidnapped by Denisov and meeting Kushan in the hospital Liz and Don are back at the hotel. Liz is tired and still doesn't want to talk to Red. Don goes downstairs alone and meets Red at the bar. They talk about Denisov, and Don tries to find out about the state of affairs between Red and Liz._  
_This chapter is about how the conversation went on afterwards._

* * *

"Well, given your new entourage, I gather you may need my help to attend," Red assumed.

Don grinned. "Actually, I think we've got that covered."

"Really?" Red asked curiously. "Are you going tell me?"

"Let's say we discovered an emergency exit."

"I see." Red nodded. If he wanted to take over the negotiations with Denisov - with which he planned to surprise Donald - he really should practice a little bit, even if Donald was the far more difficult opponent than Denisov. He smiled at him. "Well, let's forget the hole in the wall. How about having dinner here at the hotel?"

"Yeah, why not?" Don had hoped for that Red would accept the given circumstances and have dinner with him instead of insisting on having dinner with Liz. Maybe he could mediate between the two. In opposite to Liz Don didn't think that Red would disappear as soon as he had the Fulcrum. Instead, things would get rather in motion.

They went over to the dining room and sat down at a free table.

"You must try the Manties," Red said, "they are simply delicious! And the Pampuschki! Wonderful! Oh," it occurred to him, and he smiled cunningly, "you probably know more about Russian food than I do."

_That son of a bitch_, Don thought. Not even the Bureau knew anything about his mother's past, but of course, Reddington did. _I know great many things about you, Donald._ "That's an assumption of you."

"Did your Mom never cook Russian food?"

"She tried to adapt herself instead of living her own culture," Don tergiversated. He didn't want to talk with Reddington about his mother. Some day he would have to do it if he wanted to understand the connections, but now was the wrong time for it.

The food was served, and for a moment they ate in silence, both being occupied with the consideration how to begin the negotiation without exposing their intentions. It was like a game of Mikado. The one who moved first would lose.

"Did Lizzie tell you why she's angry with me?" Red finally decided to make the first move.

"She said that she was tired and wanted to be alone," Don replied, not ready to show his cards. "But if she is mad at you, it's probably about Braxton and the Fulcrum. What is it exactly about?"

"If the two of us want to stay friends, Donald, you shouldn't ask such questions." Red sipped his wine and watched some of the other guests.

_Friends? Is he crazy? Drunk? Is that a tactic? Or does he really consider us as friends? Probably it's rather the attempt of a manipulation_, Don thought. It seemed that Reddington was really good at manipulating people. He couldn't even contradict. Since that day in the box Red had always been nice to him. It would be a fatal mistake to reply that they first had to become friends in order to stay friends.

His relationship to Reddington had changed several times in the course of time. Currently Don was torn somewhere between mistrust, the old enemy's feeling including thoughts of taking revenge, like him somehow, and to have the feeling that he had been completely wrong about Reddington because many important pieces to the larger picture were missing.

"I just would like to understand it," he said in a soft voice and gave Red a sad look, "so many bad things had happened, and Liz is definitively suffering, too. I know her well enough to know that."

_Great move_, Red had to admit. Deliberately or unintentionally - it touched him honestly that the two of them were suffering. Especially because Red knew that it wasn't an assertion. However, it was too early to initiate Donald into the details. First, they had to get to know each other better.

Red put his hand on Donald's, in a friendly, fatherly manner. "How are you feeling, actually? I mean, because of Audrey. Have you got any better in the meantime?"

Don saw honest sympathies in Red's eyes. Although it was a tactic to change the subject, Don was sure that Red was really interested in. "Some days feel as if I was in hell," he replied honestly, to add equivocally, "Some days aren't that hot."

"The worst thing is the emptiness, isn't it?" Red asked with a sad face. "That awful feeling that the place next to you is empty. You walk down a street, and that someone who was at your side is gone. All the places you'd been together suddenly seem to be empty. At night you wake up, and it's silent. No one is breathing next to you. There's no warm body next to you, just emptiness. Every now and then it's as if you are suffering from phantom pain. You think about something, turn round, want to say something, and then you notice that the beloved person isn't there. There's just an empty room, and it reminds you violently of the fact that this someone isn't there anymore."

_Fuck_, somehow Reddington was the only one who could get to him, touch his heart, make him cry. Don fought back his tears, swallowed hard, pulled back his hand and pretended to eat, although it had spoilt his appetite. "Yes," he agreed, "that's the worst. And all your feelings collide with that emptiness. Everything you never said remains unsaid, everything you never did together remains undone." Unfortunately, there were many things he had never said or done.

Red was close to tears now, too. It was too true. There was a moment of silence before he forced himself to a smile. "Therefore, you should always enjoy life, alone, with others, even with people you might not like at first sight. - Shall we have another drink?"

The sad, almost intimate moment was over. The negotiation was over. For now.

"But no vodka," Don said. He always got sick from it. So much for his Russian roots. "And not more than one. I'm on duty, actually."

They went back to the bar, ordered their drinks, and Red lighted a cigar.

"I had my first drunken stupor when I was six years old," Red began to tell one of his stories.

It made Don sigh inwardly. _Where does he get all that mad stories from? Does he make them up?  
_  
"I had been ill, with measles I think," Red went on, "and my mother gave me some red juice to drink, whatever the hell it might have been. It was supposed to revive me. One evening we had visitors. I was already asleep, woke up late in the night and went downstairs to the sitting room and found an amount of glasses with this red juice on the table. My parents and the visitors were in the garden, and I thought I should be a good boy and drink this juice. You won't believe how sick I was!" He laughed. "I was told that I had vomited on Mrs. Darsey's dress and had run naked through the garden. - How about you?" He turned with a smile to Donald.

Don stared at him, stunned. Over and over again Red was able to confuse him with his stories. "I have never vomited on anyone's dress, and I have never run naked through anyone's garden."

Inwardly Red had a giggle over Donald's distraught face. Actually, he liked the younger man, but he was that serious, uptight and humourless that it was simply fun to tease him now and then. Was Donald able to deep, dirty passion at all? Or did he just act that way to lull him into a false sense of security? "You should try."

"Which one?"

"Being naked in the garden."

"I think I better go to bed." Don decided that it was enough for the moment. He drank up and got up. "Good night."

"Good night, Donald," Red replied in a friendly tone.

Don went up to the suite and got aware of how weird all that was. There had been a time in which Reddington and he had tried to kill each other. Now they wished each other a good night.

* * *

Yes, I know, the title of the chapter was a bit delusive.;) But don't worry, the night has just begun...


	5. Chapter 5 - Insights

_The night. Part 1._

* * *

Don was under the impression that he had just fallen asleep - something that was absolutely possible because he had suffered from sleep disorder since Audrey's death - when he woke up from a scream. Liz!

The room was in a peaceful half-light. Some light came from the window because there were no curtains. In a great hurry he turned on the bedside lamp. He was alone. The door was undamaged. He reached for the small knife, jumped out of the bed and ran down the corridor to Liz' room. There he flung open the door so violently that it knocked against the wall with a loud bang, and he turned on the light.

Liz woke up from the noise and sat up in her bed, confused. "What's going on?"

"That's what I should ask you," Don replied, out of breath. "You screamed."

"Just one of these nightmares," she explained and tried to sound calm. However, the truth was that she was on the ropes, no matter how much she might try to pull herself together. And it had to have been worse than she had thought if she had woken up Ressler and made him come running in a T-shirt and his underwear to her bedroom, ready to save her from her inner demons. It almost put a smile on her face. _Sometimes he's lovely_.

Don noticed that she was close to tears. _Oh no!_ He never knew what to do in moments like these. _Well_, he told himself a second later, _basically it's quite easy. And better._ Otherwise, she might hide behind this bitchy, withdrawn behaviour forever.

He got aware of that he stood in her bedroom, half-naked, a knife in his hand. _I must look like a rapist_. He put out the light, went in the half-light to her bed, put the knife on the bedside table and sat down on the edge of the bed. The digital display of the alarm clock showed 2:42 a.m.

"What kind of nightmares?"

"All possible ones." Liz sighed. Her fingers play with the blanket, agitated. Ressler was so close to her that she could feel the warmth of his body, and she felt the urge to embrace him, wished, he would console her. "That one was about that I'm drowning."

"Why should you drown?"

"Must be because of the waterboarding."

Don was horrified. _Why I'm always the last one to know?_ "Did Braxton do this to you before he got Dr. Orchard in?"

"Yes." Her voice was soft. Since she had decided to go on with the task force and Reddington, she felt like an autopilot without any emotions. However, since they had to have set Tom free it didn't work anymore. Something broke inside of her that day.

"The psychological effects of waterboarding are extreme." Don knew this too well. "You should get help. Or you go for a swim."

"Go for a swim?"

"That's the crude method. Helped me."

"You went through this, too?" Her eyes widened when she looked at him. In the half-light she could hardly see his face, though. _I don't know much about him_, she realized. _And that's not just because he's withdrawn. I don't ask, either. I'm too busy with myself. But whenever I need someone, he's there. It's always Ressler who's there in the end, as the only one._

"I went through a lot, Liz." Don smiled grimly. "Therefore, I know it's horrible."

"Everything has simply fallen apart...," Liz whispered. She couldn't help but leaned her head against his chest and began to cry.

Don hugged her, feeling clumsy and halting, stroked her back in a comforting way, while she cried more and more violently. Since he suffered from permanent mental and physical pains himself, it felt more difficult to share the pain of others.

_We are too similar_, he thought. In their experiences and in their way to deal with them. They both tend to try to come to terms with themselves. He had felt ashamed when she had noticed his addiction, had saved him from that faked hospital, had seen him cry. _At the same time, we are in the same hell, should understand each other, help each other. It isn't embarrassing to feel like crap when you hunt dangerous criminals, wade up to the knees in blood and lose everything that was important to you once. Oh, you can lose your dignity_, he thought a second later, and he had almost lost it due to his bad habit of using painkillers.

For a moment Liz felt safe and secure in his arms, enwrapped in his warmth and strength. The hysterical sobbing ceased, by and by, and she started to tell him everything what had happened in Braxton's hiding place and what she had remembered during Dr. Orchard's try to recover her memory, also that Dr. Orchard had told her later that somebody had tried to extinguish her recollections, so that they were possibly wrong or twisted.

"The bunny," Don tried to focus upon the facts to distract himself from the fact that they were both half-naked and that she was too close to him. Closer than a co-worker should be. "Was the Fulcrum in the bunny? You know, the one you wanted to keep when we were processing evidence from your house."

_Right, he saw it_, Liz remembered. "Yes, it was hidden in it."

"If the bunny was a real bunny in your recollections, all the other things you remembered might be also symbols for something else," Don said and changed his position, so that she wasn't that close to him anymore.

Liz had calmed down now, and she took up this aspect, that had never crossed her mind before, eagerly. "The closet. There wasn't anything special in it, coats, boxes with shoes... I could hear a conversation between a man and a woman, it was about a secret and about someone called Masha. Maybe this is my real name... The garden... it was decorated for Christmas."

"Was the fire on Christmas Eve 1990?"

"I think. Or, actually... I was four years old, I think, and I was born in 1985, I guess, so it was rather Christmas 1989."

"A year, before Red left his family at Christmas and disappeared."

"Possible, or it was the same evening." Liz sighed deeply and looked at him in despair. "It's terrible not to know who I am, who my real parents are!"

"Aren't there any records at all?"

"No. Everything I know is what Sam told me. And he didn't know much... or he had promised not to tell me." Liz lay back, dragged Ressler down with her, didn't want to sit anymore, but didn't want to give up his warmth, either.

Feeling uncomfortable Don lay down beside her and put one arm under her shoulders, so that she felt embraced without being too close to him.

"There was a long corridor, at the end of it was an open window, curtains, heavy wind," Liz went on, "a dark-haired woman who tried to stop me from entering a room... a fight in the background, a gunshot... the room in which the fire broke out, a man on the floor - I thought he was my father - three other men left the room in a great hurry - one of them was wearing a lumberjack shirt... A nursery rhyme, a doll, a red lamp, children's drawings... somebody with black gloves led me through the fire... You think that these things might be symbols?"

"Well, a red lamp could stand for a red-light district, the lumberjack shirt for the fact that the man actually is a lumberjack. Or that he's called the lumberjack. I'm not saying that of all them are symbols, but maybe everything is simply slightly different - like that the real bunny was in fact a plush toy." Don relaxed now a bit, because it felt rather amicable between them now and because it distracted him from his usual agonising thoughts.

"Oh, and the man - I think he was my father - who gave me the bunny was wearing a golden ring with a red stone," Liz said.

"Something like a signet ring?"

"No, it was different," she said, trying to remember, "rather something like the ring of a bishop, but without religious symbols and the stone wasn't enclosed with diamonds, either."

"Hmmm." Don got more and more drowsy.

"What is it?"

"I think, I have seen such a ring but can't remember where." He had an idea, however, wanted to have a look first before he told her.

"At Reddington maybe?"

"No." Don decided to change the subject. "And you are sure that he was there that night?"

Liz nodded. "He even admitted it. Although he claimed that he wasn't there to steal the Fulcrum. Or, actually, he said that it wasn't that simple."

"Well," Don said, "at the time, Reddington was still a highly respected Naval Intelligence Officer, not a criminal. Why should he steal a blackmail file? Maybe these were rather negotiations that went sideways. Maybe he got caught in an evil trap and thought, he had no other choice than to commit treason. I'm not saying," he cut her short before she could say anything, "that he's an innocent victim. I'm just saying that we don't know what really happened that night."

There was a moment of silence, and Don almost fell asleep. He told himself that he should go back to his own bed, however, was too lazy to get up, although he was getting cold.

"You know what the worst thing is?" Liz sighed deeply. "I thought, he had chosen me because I'm something special to him, that he cared for me. But now it seems as if it was all because of the Fulcrum."

"You are offended because you aren't that important to him as you thought?" Don asked with a smile.

She looked at him. In the half-light his side-face looked as if it was painted. Strange that it had never struck her before how beautiful he was. Not handsome, nice, or good-looking. Beautiful. "Childish, isn't it?"

He gave some thought to it before he answered. "Not necessarily. You don't know your real parents, you lost Sam, Tom was an imposter, your dream of an adoption didn't come true, you don't have any other family members nor close friends... and sometimes he's quite fatherly." He had made this experience himself.

"Yes, but it also means that I lost the distance," Liz said.

"Easier said than done to keep the distance. Our experiences are special, insane... When there's someone who makes you feel wanted and loved... And Red is extremely good at it. However, I don't think that it's all about the Fulcrum and manipulation. I think it's far more complex and it's also about you."

Liz turned to lie on her side and cuddled up a little closer to him. She was almost disappointed that the blanket was between them. _What a naughty thought_, she scolded herself. "Are you sure about that?"

Don ignored her approach, but still couldn't make himself to get up. "No, I can't be sure, but he has two complete different sides. I think, it's wrong to say that he's a psychopath. I mean, a psychopath is somebody who just imitates feelings but doesn't have any, actually, right?"

"Yes, by definition."

"Well, he is able to kill someone in cold blood, yeah, but he is also deeply human - and this is for real. I don't think he's playing that."

They went on talking, but Don's replies got more and more monosyllabic, and then, Liz noticed that he had fallen asleep.

_I was stupid_, she told herself, _and he's right, I was bitchy. And selfish._ Of course, Ressler would never have helped her to keep Tom imprisoned on a boat, however, suddenly it seemed silly to her not to have asked him for his help directly after she had saved Tom's life. The best thing would have been she would have accepted his offer back then to rough Tom up.

_I lost control_, she admitted to herself. _Of everything_. And for a while she had forgotten that she had a friend in Ressler. They had already been much closer to each other as during the last weeks or, actually, during the last months. There had been a distance between them lately, because she had secrets, didn't talk to him. _And that's not good at all. We need each other if we want to survive the hell we are in_.

She put the blanket over of the both of them and huddled against him, enjoyed the feeling of being safe.


	6. Chapter 6 - Passion

_The night. Part 2._  
_This chapter is rated with M. Personally, I don't think it's that dirty but I'm not sure about how strict the rules are. So, everyone under 16 should leave the story now. :D_

* * *

Liz woke up from the noise of an engine. A motorcycle started right under her window, and then it drove down the street. It was still dark outside. The digital display of the alarm clock showed 5:12 a.m.

Don awoke from the best dream he had in months, sighed reluctantly. Then he realized that he was still in HER bed. Worse, under the blanket. With her. Her naked legs next to his. Her body close to his. Really close. And... _damn it!_

He got aware of why his dream had been so pleasant. She had probably noticed it. She had to. It was right at her hip.

He sat up halfway, wanted to flee from this embarrassing situation. The moment he leaned over her and looked at her, they both noticed that it was different, that there was something between them that had never been there before. They both saw it, felt it.

The moment his lips touched hers they were both lost. They kissed each other, wildly, took of their few clothes, impatiently, were all over each other.

His instincts took hold of the scene, his mind didn't seem to exist anymore. He explored her body with all his senses, felt it, tasted it, every part of it, her soft skin, took it, possessed it.

Liz had known that Ressler had a hot temper now and then. Under the calm, polished surface there was a volcano, a well-controlled, bridled temper, only shining through in moments of high tension. But she had never thought that he could be so wild and passionate. She felt as if her body was soused with hot lava.

With Tom it always had been nice. She realized that he had simply given to her what she wanted. And which girl wouldn't want it romantic, nice, a bit twee. A long lovely game, red roses, candles. All that stuff. Now she realized that she never had real sex. Dirty, hard, hot sex. And, damn it, it was great.

She had no chance against him. He was so much stronger. His hard muscles closed around her, took her breath away. Well, she didn't want to have any chance against him. Instead, she closed her legs behind his back to feel him even closer, deeper, more intensely.

She let herself go, got carried away, floated in an unknown dimension with overwhelming feelings, colours, sounds, ecstasy close to fainting.

Afterwards they lay next to each other, heavily breathing, sweating.

Don realized what he had done, by and by. He had not just slept with his co-worker, no, he had almost raped her. But, damn it, it had been great. It had been better than any feeling in the past months, better than any illusory ecstasy of any pills he had ever taken. Therefore, he was torn between feeling ashamed and feeling great.

"That was a bad idea," he finally said.

Liz reflected on her feelings. She had never felt better than in the few past minutes. "But it did good."

"Yeah," Don admitted and exhaled in relieve. Obviously, she didn't resent his actions. It rather seemed she had enjoyed it. However, it didn't make it right. A body in heaven and a mind full of dirt.

"It had been a while," Liz said and cuddled up to him. "In fact, it was months ago. With Tom. At the time, I already knew that he was an imposter, but because I wanted to investigate him I had to pretend that everything was fine. You have no idea how filthy I felt."

"You still love him, though."

She sighed. "I don't understand myself."

"You can't repress feelings that easily."

Liz sat up and looked at him in the half-light. "Your last time was with Audrey, wasn't it?" She asked softly. Almost a year ago. No wonder he had been so passionate.

"Yeah." Unfortunately, it felt as if he had cheated on Audrey. On the other hand, he couldn't live like a monk for the rest of his life. Don was aware of that. But with Liz? She was his partner, a friend at best. It was impossible to have an affair with her.

"I'm sorry. Maybe it really was a bad idea." She lay back down and stroke his arm.

"Sometime life has to go on," Don admitted, but couldn't help feeling sad. "You know what hurt most? That she was pregnant. The child would have been born by now."

"Oh no!" It was the first time Liz heard about it, and her eyes filled with tears. "That must be so awful for you." She put her head on his shoulder, shared his pain, thinking about the baby that she hadn't adopted. For the first time she also realized that he hadn't taken the painkillers because of his leg - in the beginning maybe - but because of his inner pain. He was as broken as her, in a constant inner struggle. _He would have been such a great dad._ She remembered how well he could handle children.

The inner pain was back, but Don also felt that there was something new. He couldn't deny that having sex had been like a deliverance. Maybe this wasn't about a new love, but somehow it felt as if this was a new start because he finally had felt anything, had felt alive again.

They stopped talking, and Don told himself again that he should get up and go back to his own bed. Again he was too lazy, too drowsy. It was cosy, his body relaxed, his mind drifted from agonising to more pleasant thoughts.

Next time they woke up from the alarm clock. 7:30 a.m. Enough time to get ready and have breakfast before they would meet with Denisov.

Don realized that he still was in her bed. Naked. With her. In the nude right next to him. And he desired her. "We should forget about last night," he said but didn't move. "And we shouldn't do it again."

Liz had come to the decision that she didn't want to forget it and that she wanted to do it again. It had been clear to her that Ressler would try to stop it before it could get worse.

"Well, before we really forget about it and never do it again we should have a shower," she suggested and gave him a tempting look, stroke his chest, kissed his skin and then went deeper...

When he pushed her against the wall of the shower, kissing her almost violently, one hand under her bottom, she knew it would be easy for her to let him forget that he wanted to forget. _We will do it again_, she thought, closed her legs behind his back and enjoyed the warm water that was pouring down on them. She loved water! It was like being newborn and start it all over again.


	7. Chapter 7 - Jealousy

_After the negotiations with Denisov and the "field trip" with Red Liz and Don are back in their suite..._  
_This chapter is also a different version of the events when Liz got the phone call from Wilcox and then met with Red in the bar of the hotel._

* * *

The moment Don closed the door behind them Liz turned to him and looked at him temptingly, started to undress.

"No," he said, "we really can't..."

She nipped his protest in the bud by leaning against him, kissing him passionately...

A little later they lay in his bed, naked, not even a blanket over their bodies because they were still hot enough.

"We really can't do this," Don said again. As much as he enjoyed it, but they had to stop it. It would just cause problems.

"Never date a co-worker?" Liz asked with a smile.

"Yeah. But that's not the worst thing. I mean, you are still in love with Tom..."

"...and you are still in love with Audrey," she added. She sat up, turned to him, sat down crossed-legged. "I know, Ressler, but..."

"Don," he cut her short, "my name's Don." They had slept with each other, she sat in front of him in the nude - and she called him by his last name. _Unbelievable!_

"This is not about being a couple, Don," Liz said and stressed his name, "this is about feeling good, having some fun, feeling alive, feeling anything at all. Let's be friends with extras, Don."

He wasn't sure whether this was a good idea. What if one of them fell in love with the other - and the other one didn't? What if Cooper found out? What if...? On the other hand, this journey they were on was so awkward and insane that it probably couldn't get worse. _Well, it always can get worse. _But she was right about one thing - if it got worse, they would have some fun, at least.

_I'm becoming like Reddington_, Don thought, horrified, when he remembered what Red had told him about enjoying life.

And unfortunately, he didn't have much choice. His body would react on her every time she would try to hit on him. _I must have an addicted nature_, he thought, because there wasn't a big difference between taking pills to be happy and having sex to be happy. He could refuse to have this affair and went on suffering and being sorry for himself, or he could have this affair - with all possible consequences. 

* * *

A little later they got ready to go downstairs to meet Reddington.

Liz was in a good mood, dressed up, put up some make-up, did her hair. She was feeling sexy tonight.

Don noticed it when she entered his room. "Did you dress up for Reddington?" He asked with an ironic smile.

"No, for you," she replied, smiling at him. It was a long time ago he had seen her smiling that way, happily, relaxed, herself. Maybe having an affair wasn't the worst thing on earth.

When they went downstairs Liz had to take a phone call and stopped on the stairs, whereas Don went down to the lobby to wait there for her.

When she finally joined him her mood had changed.

"You alright?" He asked, sensing that something bad had happened.

For a second she thought about pretending that everything was fine, but that wouldn't be right. "No, but I'll tell you later, okay?" She linked arms with him, and they went over to the bar.

When they entered the room Red was already there, sitting at one of the small tables. He was about to stand up and shout a cheerful "Lizzie!", when he realized that she wasn't alone.

He had noticed it before, during the negotiations and the field trip, but now it was so obvious that he couldn't ignore it any longer. Something had changed between them. Of course, he didn't meet them together often, nevertheless, he sensed a development in their relationship, and it wasn't a good one. Well, at least not from his point of view.

Her hand was on Donald's arm, just a small gesture, nothing noteworthy, unless... There was a tension between them. A sexual tension. _Are they...?_

To his surprise Red felt jealous. He had always considered his relationship to Lizzie as a fatherly one, and her relationship to Tom had never bothered him because he had known it wasn't for real and had inevitably to end one day, but to see her with Donald was... Donald could be anything for her. He wasn't a spy nor a criminal. He could offer her a real future, a marriage, children... Red felt a twinge of jealousy and couldn't deny it.

He forced himself to a smile. "Lizzie! This time you really have to try the Baklava."

"We didn't come here for the Baklava," she replied, not too friendly, but her voice wasn't that cold anymore.

"Hello Donald."

_He doesn't want me to be here_, Don noticed, _maybe he's jealous._ This thought almost made him smile. But he decided to ignore Red's refusal.

Red did the same, ignored Donald and talked to Lizzie about the case and then about the Russian milonga.

"Watch closely, Lizzie. Everything you need to know about negotiation is there in the tango milonga... A sensuous battle, violence..."

_He's going to say "sex" in 3, 2..._, Don thought.

"...Sex..."

_I knew it! Well, as long as he doesn't want me to sleep with him..._

When Red spotted the guy from the CIA he knew that the negotiations had gone sideways, and his mood changed from bad to really bad.

"Did you see that?" Red asked Dembe after Lizzie and Donald had left the room.

"Saw what?"

"They're having an affair!" Red was stirred up.

"Agents Ressler and Keen? Well, they share a room..."

"It's a suite with two rooms," Red corrected him, sharply, "but that's not the point."

"Are you jealous?" Dembe knew Red well enough to sense his emotions.

"Hell, yes," Red admitted, then he added, "and I'm concerned."

"You need to tell them, Raymond," Dembe said calmly. "And you need to tell her. About Tom. You should have told her some time ago."

Red looked at him in despair. He knew Dembe was right, but he wasn't ready for it. "I don't know how to do that, Dembe."

"Yes, you do. You tell her the truth by telling her everything. I mean, look at it. You can't tell them without telling her about Tom. You can't tell them without telling them about that night."

Red hesitated, feeling scared. "I don't think I can do that."

"Maybe you should stop thinking about it and do it."

He might lose her when he told her. Forever. To Donald. It was clear who would win in this case. On the other hand, he couldn't risk it. Maybe it was just a harmless affair. Consolation. But what if it got more? What if she got pregnant? If they found out then, he would really lose her.


	8. Chapter 8 - The essence of negotiation

_After the CIA got involved, Red is furious and storms into Liz' and Don's suite..._  
_Like in the chapter before - the last scene was taken from "The Major" - you'll recognize scenes from a later episode, in this case "The Deer Hunter". It's not a spectacular chapter, but it's necessary for the next one. ;))_

* * *

"But now I'm afraid Denisov may not trust me, and I certainly don't trust you. The negotiations are over." His bad mood based on three facts - Cooper, that damn suite, and his own cowardice. While they were talking he had noticed that the bedroom was obviously Donald's, but there were also a few things that definitely belonged to Lizzie. They really _shared_ that room.

When he rushed out of the room Liz tried to stop him, but he had left before she could say anything. She turned to Don and sighed. "Now HE's bitchy."

It made him laugh. "Yeah." He went to the window and had a look at the guards in front of the hotel. "Looks like we're hostages now, too."

Liz was debating with herself whether she should really tell him, but finally she went over to him. "Don, I think I'm in trouble."

He turned to her. "You think you..." _Didn't she say she was taking the pill? I should have never..._

She needed a moment to realize what he was thinking. "No, not what you think right now! The phone call." She told him the whole story about the harbourmaster, the boat and Tom.

_I knew that there was something she hadn't told me yet_. Inwardly Don sighed. He had been afraid of that the whole thing about Tom would come back on them one day. Now that day was here. "Was there witnesses? Somebody must have been watching Tom while you weren't there." He tried to rely on the facts, to find a solution.

"There was someone," she said. "A guy named Samuel Aleko. He was Meera's CI. That's why he helped me. He owns that boat."

"What's with the harbourmaster? Does Aleko know? Was he there when Tom killed him?"

"Yes."

"Does he know where the body is?"

"Yes." She tried to avoid his look, felt ashamed. She brought this on him the moment she asked him to help her with Tom, and he had lied for her to cover her up.

Don breathed deeply, tried to stay calm. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"No. Well, I shot him."

"Who?"

"Aleko. In the foot when he was trying to stop me from stopping Tom to kill the harbourmaster."

_What a mess!_ Although the way she told it sound almost funny. "Okay, here is the thing," he said, "we'll tell Red and ask him to make Aleko disappear. I mean, not killing that guy," he added quickly when she looked shocked, "but to move him to Australia or wherever, give him some money and a new identity. No witness, no case."

_Sometimes he's really good for a surprise_, she thought. "Why should he do this?"

"He will." Don was sure about that. Reddington had always done everything to protect Liz. "To make absolutely sure you'll offer him the Fulcrum in return."

"I told him I didn't have it," she protested.

"Well, he knows that you have it. You tell him that you've found it, meanwhile, and that you will give it to him if he helps you."

"But I don't want to give it to him."

Don got closer and touched her arm, gently. "He won't disappear, Liz. He will know or find out how that thing works and will start to take revenge, tie up loose ends, or whatever is on his mind. He just didn't surrender to the FBI to get the Fulcrum. I mean, he could have done the same as Braxton did, couldn't he? And that years ago. But he didn't. Why not? Because he had multiple reasons to surrender to the FBI. The Fulcrum won't be the end, it will rather set things in motion. But first we have to solve the problem with Aleko."

"The essence of negotiation," Liz realized, "I have something he wants, and I need him to stay out of prison. But maybe it's better I tell Wilcox. Everything."

"No. You can't do that. Then, you would really lose everything."

"The man had a family," she whispered, feeling guilty.

"You remember what I told you about Frederick Barnes?"

"The life of one man against hundreds, maybe thousands."

Don nodded. "It's a question of body count. Look, if you talk to Wilcox, you'll go to prison. If you go to prison, Reddington WILL disappear, with or without that Fulcrum. If Reddington disappears, we will never find out why he really surrendered to the FBI because the task force will be dissolved and all the animals on Reddington's list will be still out there, feeding. And if you think that all our lives will go back to normal - except yours - you are mistaken. Nothing will be better if you sacrifice yourself."

"But it doesn't make it right," she argued.

"It will never be right," he replied, "but that's the point, Liz. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't. This is insane and it's wrong, but the alternative to it isn't better. There's only one difference - if we go on we can save lives, solve crimes, and you know what kind of crimes I'm talking about!"

She nodded, slowly. "I'll have to live with the guilt."

"Yeah." Don felt sorry for her, but he knew that this was the only way to solve the problem. "And we should tell Cooper."

"No!"

"Liz, I lied to him," Don stressed, "he will be furious about that, but the last thing he wants is some cop from metro PD poking around, trying to find out what we are doing. He will protect you as Reddington will protect you. And if we don't tell him, and Red fails somehow, then Cooper will be really furious. We have to turn that thing down!"

She thought about it for a moment. Unfortunately, he was right. Especially about the fact that she would never find out about the connection between her and Reddington if she went to prison.

"Okay, then we should talk to Red - when he isn't bitchy anymore." Liz tried to smile but failed. Instead, she started to cry.

Don embraced her, as a friend this time, and she cuddled up to him, leaned her head against his shoulder.

"This is all crazy," she whispered. "I don't know how to process it. Two years ago everything seemed to be fine, and now everything is in a mess, and I do awful things... I should have never brought Tom to that damn boat. But I really thought I could make things right, get to Berlin... I'm so awfully naive..."

"You went through a lot in a short time," he said, stroking her back, "it's no wonder that you lost control. - But you're right," he added, "holding Tom captive was way over the line."

"The most terrible thing is that I brought this on you, on all of you, on Meera, on Cooper... just because I exist. Reddington insisted on speaking with me, and all hell broke loose."

"It's not your fault that Reddington insisted on speaking with you," Don said. "Holding Tom captive is your fault. But we all make mistakes, right? Learn from it and move on. Just don't stand there, feeling sorry for yourself. Do something about it - and I don't mean making the next mistake by talking to Wilcox."


	9. Chapter 9 - Masha

_Last day in Tashkent. All negotiations are over - except of one._  
_(Will contain scenes from "T. Earl VI", "The Major" and "Tom Keen" in different versions._  
_The story is starting to leave the track at this point. The next few chapters will still deal with parts of the episodes but often in different versions. Otherwise, it'll be fictitious.)_

* * *

Although Liz was still a bit angry with Red because of the French oil company, she tried to be friendly when she, Red and Don sat down in the sitting area of the suite and started to discuss "the Aleko problem".

"I knew it was a bad idea to let that guy walk," Red said finally. "I should have sent him to Hawaii after we had buried the body." He was surprised that Lizzie had told Donald about the boat, Tom, the harbourmaster, and was even more surprised that Donald was still here, covering up a felony. _He must love her_, he thought, _or he just doesn't want the task force to be shut down._

"Well, send him to Hawaii now," Don said, "anything, except killing him."

Red put on a devious smile. "I promise not to kill him, although it would simplify matters, you know?"

"I don't want you to kill him," Liz made her position clear. She breathed deeply and put on a little smile. "When the whole thing is over and the danger averted I will give you the Fulcrum in return - IF you tell us what it is about," she added in a sharp tone. "And I don't mean telling us that it is a blackmail file. I want the whole story!"

Red felt disappointed and hurt. It wasn't because of that she had obviously lied and had remembered where the Fulcrum was hidden, no, it was because of that she thought he would want something in return.

"Well, I accept the deal, but it was unnecessary. I would have helped you solving that problem without expecting anything in return because in opposite to your assumption I do care about you, Lizzie. This journey we're on isn't over just yet. You may have given up on us, but I haven't."

Although she still wasn't completely sure about his intentions Liz also felt ashamed. She knew she could ask him for anything and he would give it to her. He had never hesitated to protect or help her. She realized that the problem was that she cared for him and was scared of that she might lose him. It wasn't because of the answers she was still looking for. No, it was because she did like him and couldn't help it.

She decided to be honest. "I care about you, you know, and the feeling that you had used me to get that... thing..."

Her words made him feel warm inside, and he smiled at her. "I know, and I assure you, Lizzie, it was never about the Fulcrum." At the same time he felt ashamed because there were many things he hadn't told her yet. Things that might change her mind again. But although he had planned to tell her everything tonight, he still couldn't do it. Unfortunately, he had to tell them _something_.

_She really has lost the distance_, Don thought, watching the two of them. _She likes him, probably wishes he was her father._

Red breathed deeply and looked at Liz and Donald who were sitting on the sofa, opposite to him. "Now to something completely different. - Do you two sleep with each other?"

_Now he's really acting like a strict father_, Don thought and felt to his anger that he blushed, _and we are his naughty children. Or as if Liz is his daughter and I'm the unsuitable boyfriend_.

"That's not your business," Liz said in a cold voice.

"Usually it wouldn't." Red nodded. "But I know something you obviously don't." He hesitated for a moment. "You should have a DNA-analysis in order to find out how close akin you are."

"Akin?!" Don couldn't believe what he was saying. He and Liz looked at each other in disbelief.

"Well, I don't know the exact events and connections," Red explained, "but what I do know is this: I know who your mother is, Donald, I know who your father is, Lizzie, I believe to know who your mother is, but believing isn't knowledge. The problem is that you either share the same mother - maybe even the same father because I don't know who your father is, Donald, I only know that it is probably not the man you grew up with - or your mothers are blood related, and I don't know how close. Sisters, cousins, aunt and niece, something like that. If you have different fathers and your mothers were cousins, fine, go ahead, that's not a close blood relationship, but I think you do understand that I can't let you have an affair when there is the possibility that you are brother and sister. And if THAT came out one day, including that I knew it, both of you would really have a reason to hate me."

_Okay, now it's really gonna be crazy_, Don thought. _Is that a trick? To kick me out of the game?_

Why didn't he tell us earlier?

Liz thought. Moments ahead they told each other that they cared about each other, and now he was telling them that there was a possible connection between her and Don. Something Red had known for ages. _Or is he just trying to take everything away from me? To isolate me?_ The moment Red had entered her life everything she had ever loved or liked had been taken from her. _Tom. Sam. Is he trying to do the same with Don now?_

"I'm six years older than Liz, I would have noticed a little sister," Don finally said.

"Well, when you were about six years old your mom was in that rehab centre, wasn't she? For months. I'm not saying that she gave birth to Lizzie during that time because I don't know what she was doing, but the point is that it is possible."

It was probably true that she hadn't been in a rehab centre, Don had to admit. It had been impossible to visit her, and when she came back she didn't look healthy at all.

Red sighed and forced himself to go on. "I can't tell you everything because it's dangerous for you to know as long as not all pieces to the puzzle lie on the table. What I can tell you is that it is a kind of spy game between different intelligence agencies, clandestine organizations and criminal elements. And in the night of the fire..." He didn't go on, paused a moment, then he looked at Donald. "I'm sure you know that your mom wasn't the one she was pretending to be. Otherwise, you wouldn't have come after me with such fervour and zeal."

Don put on a scornful smile, although he felt cold inside. Of course, he knew. On the other hand, he knew very little. But he'd be damned if he was going to show all his cards. "Yeah, I know."

"Eleonora was a spy," Red explained nevertheless. "Her job was to spy on a criminal organization, and her cover was the friendly, dutiful secretary with husband and son. If you think you recognize this scenario," he said to Lizzie, "you are damn right. Eleonora was trained by the same man. She and Tom have the same broker."

"You knew the whole time who Tom worked for?!"

"No, I knew who his broker is," Red corrected her. He felt cold sweat on his forehead and Dembe's look in his neck. _Shall I really tell her that I know it because it was me who hired Tom in the first place?_ "That's the man who brokers the jobs for him, not the person he works for when he is on an assignment. - I don't know the whole story," he went on, looking at Donald again, "but I know that at some point Eleonora's and this man's paths crossed, and he trained her to be a spy, and I know that she was hired by a criminal organization to spy on another criminal organization. Unfortunately, Eleonora was a bad spy. Not that she wouldn't have found out anything or that she failed to play her role, no, she had a conscience. You're a lot like her, Donald. Dutiful, reliable, a good guy with a good heart, a cop through and through. It's admirable, but you can't deny what you are. And your mother couldn't either, and that's not really a good thing when you are supposed to be a spy."

Liz was about to ask Don how much he knew, but then she decided that it was better to ask him later. Alone.

"Well, the point is that Eleonora came to the house that night - blowing her cover because of it, by the way - and tried to save Lizzie. She was acting like a mom," Red explained. "Maybe she did it because she felt she had to do it for Masha - and from the conversation I could gather that they were somehow blood related - or she did it because Lizzie was her own child."

_Don's mom was there in the night of the fire?!_ "Masha," Liz said. "I thought that might be my real name."

"No. Your name always had been Elizabeth. Masha was your mom - or your aunt or whatever."

"So, Masha is dead?" She remembered that he told her on her first day that her mother had died "of weakness and shame".

"Yes."

"And Eleonora is Don's mother?"

Red sighed again. "Yes. At least, Eleonora was her real name. Before she became Ellen Winslow and then married Mark Ressler."

"Is she dead, too?" Liz looked from Red to Don. She wished she could talk to her. No matter whether she was her mother or had known her mother. It would be finally someone who might tell her anything about who she really was.

"I don't know," Don said in a low voice.

"She had to pay a high price for her actions," Red explained. "Her cover was blown, she prevented the plans her employer had for Lizzie - I don't know what these plans were but probably any good ones - and the whole thing ended up in a terrible mess." He paused, but he couldn't make himself to go into detail. "She had two options afterwards - to get her family killed or to leave her family. I think it's the reason you hate me, Donald, isn't it? Because she chose to leave you. Because that was the only way she could keep you safe."

His hatred towards Reddington had different reasons and it had grown during the time he had been chasing him, but Don decided not to tell him. Not yet. And maybe it wasn't necessary at all because their relationship had changed meanwhile anyway.

"So, all this happened on Christmas Eve 1990," he said instead. It had to be because she hadn't been at home that night. Allegedly she had been on duty. Later, while he had tried to be brave and not to show her his disappointment, she had been more unhappy about it than him.

"Yes." Red felt uncomfortable. _I should tell them everything!_

_Maybe the same happen to him_, it occurred to Liz. _He didn't want to leave his family but had to. The price for doing something other people hadn't liked_. "Is this why you left your family, forsook the flag?"

"It's difficult." _Damn it!_ Red was close to tear and felt ashamed. No, he couldn't tell her. _I'm such a coward_, he scolded himself, but it didn't help at all. He got up, ignored Dembe's look. "Let's make one step after the other. I'll deal with Aleko, you two find out how close blood related you are before you make yourself unhappy."

* * *

_Worried that this will be the end of the affair? Well, let's see what will happen next... ;)_


	10. Chapter 10 - Family affairs

_On the flight back to D.C._

* * *

For the rest of the day, on the way to the airport and during the first half hour of the flight Liz and Don hadn't talked much. They had been too shocked, and both of them had been too deep in thoughts.

But now Liz turned to him. "What do you know about the whole thing?"

Don sighed. "In fact, I don't know much. I've not a clue what happened that night, didn't know anything about Masha, you, any connections between me, you, or Reddington. I just thought it was better not to let Red know how little I know." He smiled ironically.

Liz' hopes had been higher, but she was eager to hear anything that could help her to understand what had happened in the past. "Tell me what you know, and tell me about your mom."

"There are a lot of things she didn't tell," Don said. "That's for sure. She was from Russia originally, from Karelia, that's a district north from St. Petersburg."

"That's why you speak Russian." She smiled.

"Yeah, she taught me, although she was probably supposed not to because it was a secret, our secret language. We only talked Russian when we were alone." He remembered her shocked face when he had once stormed into a room, shouting something in Russian, and then realized that she had a visitor.

"She was abducted by the Predinksi Cartel when she was a young girl," he went on.

"The Predinksi Cartel?"

"Same business as the Eberhardt Cartel," Don said grimly.

Liz remembered his reaction to the victims of the Eberhardt Cartel. He had been really shocked. Maybe it had been the first time he realized what his mother had gone through.

"She was somehow rescued when she was about 14 or 15. She never told me how she was saved or who saved her. Only that she was brought to the US and got a new identity."

"According to Red it was Tom's broker." Liz still couldn't believe that Red hadn't told her about it earlier. Things might be different by now.

"It's possible." Don nodded. "She never told me what she was really doing. Therefore I know less about her assignment than Reddington does. She was a secretary and worked for a charity organization. She definitely had secrets, sometimes she was gone for a while - the rehab centre, a journey to collect money for charity... She was often unhappy, depressive..." He shrugged. "Before she left us, she told me that she had spied on someone, got into trouble and had to leave us because otherwise, we would get killed. But she didn't tell me what exactly had happened, who had been involved or what this had been all about."

"But you obviously were aware of a connection to Reddington?"

"She gave me a framed photo as a farewell present. Many years later I bought a new frame for it and found a microfilm in the old frame," Don explained. "On that film were five photos of five men, most of them surveillance photos, labelled with cryptic descriptions. One of these men was Reddington - I haven't found out yet who the other four are -that's why I tried everything to get assigned to his case."

"How was Red described?" Liz asked curiously.

"As the trump card." When she looked at him in surprise, he explained: "Like Reddington said it seemed to be a kind of game. Their names are ace of clubs, ace of spades, ace of hearts, ace of diamonds, and the trump card. I think," he added, "that one of the other men was wearing a ring as you described it. But I've to look it up first for not being mistaken."

Now she was almost excited. "Really? And you couldn't find out who the men are?"

"No, unfortunately not. I really tried everything," Don assured her. "I even played around with the descriptions. You know that ace of clubs could mean that the guy is a night club owner and stuff like that." He had to laugh about his own words.

Liz laughed with him, but then got serious again. "Red probably knows who the men are."

"Probably," Don agreed. "But I think it's too early to ask him. I think he's right and we should take one step after the other."

"And find out whether we are blood related or not." Liz sighed. "I can't imagine you as my brother."

"Well, I can't imagine you as my sister, either." He smiled. "But of course, he's right. We have to find out."

"How was your mom?" She asked and cuddled up in her seat. She would have loved to huddle against him, but she didn't dare to. The thought that they might be brother and sister and had slept with each other was bad enough. She knew she would miss him as her lover if it turned out that they were really blood related.

"Like Russian moms are." Don grinned, but she only looked at him without understanding. "It's a cliché that Russian mothers are strict, that they teach their children manners, principles, beliefs, rules, and discipline, push them into something, a sport, a good job, and that on the other hand, they would rather die than let anything happen to their children. They are caring, but you have to pay a certain price."

"Be a good boy?" She asked with a smile.

"A good, diligent boy," he stated it precisely. "Russian mothers hate nothing more than lazy children."

"The famous stage mother," Liz understood. "One whose love you have to earn."

"It wasn't that extreme," he said, "I didn't have to earn her love, but she had certain demands. On the other hand, no matter what had happened during the day, in the evening she would talk to me, maybe explain a few things, why she wanted it this way and no other, but then she would lie with me and tell me a bedtime story, mostly a funny one."

It was a nice picture he described. As much as Liz had loved it growing up with Sam, she felt a yearning for having a mother like this. "No matter whether she is my mother or not I wish she's still alive and we can find her and talk to her."

She looked so desperate and lost that he couldn't help but stroke her hair, then her cheek.

"Honestly, I don't think she's your mom," Don said. "She would have told me." He was sure she wouldn't have done this to him. She had loved him too much not to tell him that he had a sister.

"But she knew Masha. She could tell me about my mother."

"Yeah," he admitted.

Then something different crossed Liz' mind. "If they knew each other, do you think they were both victims of this cartel?"

"I really don't know. She never spoke of anyone called Masha."

"It must have been hard for you when she left."

"Yes, it was," he admitted. "But she made me understand that she didn't want to but had to. That she had no other choice. I was never angry with her."

"How about your dad?" Liz asked.

"Reddington may be right that he wasn't my biological father," Don explained. "I was born before they got married. He fathered me later. He was always nice to me, and we got closer when she left. But there's a difference between the relationship to a mother and the relationship to a father. When she left I had to grow up." He smiled ironically.

Liz tried to imagine him as a child, but she failed. He was so controlled and disciplined that it was hard to imagine him laughing, joking around, being easy-going. It made her sad, and she realized that she really wasn't the only one who was suffering. "Is your dad still alive?"

"No, he died from cancer some years ago."

That's why he had been so sympathetic when Sam died. He knew all the pain she was feeling. She leaned her head against his shoulder, tired, feeling ashamed about being selfish now and then, made a promise to herself to act less headless in the future. 

* * *

_By the way, I had the idea for Ressler's family when I had to think about a former friend. Her name was really Eleonora, and she was from the described area, a beautiful woman with something mystic and tragic about her. She had a little boy who looked the way I would imagine Diego as a child. I don't know what happened to them because we lost touch many years ago, but she suits the picture so perfectly that I had to write this story._


	11. Chapter 11 - The gold ring

_About a week later._

* * *

"You are not more blood related to each other than you are to me," Dr. Seabrook explained after Liz and Don had taken a seat opposite to her.

They had chosen a private lab so that the DNA-analysis wouldn't show up in the system of the FBI.

"What does that mean?" Don asked. "That we aren't akin at all?"

"Well, there is a marginal match, but you have these results with many people," Dr. Seabrook said. "If you ran a search for blood relatives through DNA-databases, you would get a few matches with people you don't know which doesn't mean that there is a real blood relationship. DNA is individual," she explained, "but because of the history of mankind many people are blood related somehow but not closely."

"Can you explain it more specifically?"

"Let's better simplify it," Dr. Seabrook said. "What I'm telling you is not scientific, but it's easier to understand. If you were brother and sister, same mother, same father, you would have a 100% match. If you were half-siblings, same mother, different fathers, you would have a 50% match. If you had different fathers and your mothers were sisters, you would have a 25% match, meaning that you were cousins. But that isn't the case because your match is under 5%. And I can't tell you whether this is because your mothers were blood related somehow, definitely not closely, or whether it is random because your mothers are maybe from the same area in which some people have often matches like these because the families were blood related at a certain point far back in time."

"Is this something like finding out from which area your ancestors are from?" Liz asked.

"Exactly." Dr. Seabrook nodded. "It's not completely accurate because of the Migration Period and nowadays because of the globalization. But you can exclude certain areas or put two people into the same area. This is mainly possible by the mitochondrial DNA. That's the maternal DNA, and it can be used to trace maternal lineage far back in time. Your mothers are from the same area and it may be that they are akin somehow, but it isn't a close blood relationship. This means that you aren't blood related at all. Not in a way family is usually defined." 

* * *

"Maybe they were just friends," Liz assumed when they left the lab. "They were abducted by the same cartel, went through hell together and stayed in touch." Although she was glad that Don and she weren't siblings, she also felt a bit disappointed. It could have helped her to understand who she was. "Can you show me the pictures from the microfilm?" She begged.

Don was aware of that if they went to his apartment, Liz would use the opportunity to continue their affair. It had been the only good thing about the situation - he had had an excuse to tell himself that he had never wanted to have an affair with her. Now he knew that he couldn't resist if she tried to hit on him. The break hadn't cooled off his desire. In fact, it had increased it.

"How about dinner tonight?" He gave in. "In my apartment. I'll cook something."

She looked at him in surprise. "I didn't know you can cook."

"I can't, but I'm able to fry a steak, cook some noodles and make a salad. That's not that difficult."

"Well, you could be like me," she said with a smile. "Then the steak would be chewy, the noodles overcooked and the salad too sour."

It made him laugh. "No, I'm not that bad."

"Then I'll bring the desert," Liz said. 

* * *

Of course, the food had to wait because the moment Don had closed the door behind them Liz had turned to him and had kissed him. When he finally had started to cook they both had been pretty hungry. Therefore, it didn't bother them that the food was quite good but not perfect.

It felt strange to have her in his apartment. Of course, she had been there before when she had asked him for help because of Tom. But she had done it as his partner and had slept on the couch.

Now they had shared the bed and were sitting close to each other on the couch, eating the mousse Liz had bought on her way to his apartment. It felt like another betrayal on Audrey. On the other hand, he had been very lonely lately. That they had to stall the affair for a week had just intensified that feeling - and his desire to be with her.

"I'm so glad you aren't my brother," she said and huddled against him.

It would have simplified matters, but Don had to admit that he was glad about it, too. He brought the dishes into the kitchen and took a box with pictures from a chest of drawers in his bedroom.

"Oh my God, you were such a sweet child!" Liz exclaimed in delight when he opened the box and she looked at some of the pictures. There were in a mess, from all kinds of events and ages. "That's your mom?" She took one of the pictures that showed a blond woman. "She's beautiful," she said in awe when he nodded.

Eleonora had a classic face with high cheekbone, fine lines, a perfect nose, intelligent eyes, full lips, like a painting of a perfect beauty.

"You look a bit like her," she said, comparing them.

"Is that a compliment?" Don asked and felt to his anger that he blushed.

"It is."

To distract her from it he took out the envelope that was hidden under the other pictures and showed her the photos of the five men. The names they had been given were handwritten in Cyrillic script on the photos.

To her disappointment none of the men seemed familiar to her. _If one of them is my father, I should recognize him, shouldn't I?_ She asked herself in despair.

"Is this the ring you remembered?" Don showed her one of the pictures. It was a close-up on the man who was just about to open the door of a car.

"Yes, it's possible, but I'm not sure," she admitted. "Who is he?"

"Ace of hearts. Does he look familiar?"

Liz shrugged. "To be honest, no."

"We'll find out one day." He kissed her cheek and put the pictures back into the box.

"Was your dad a racer?" She pointed at the pictures in the sideboard. They showed different scenes from car racing.

"Yeah. Me, too."

"You were a racer?" Liz was surprised, but then she remembered the way he drove the car, that had actually been a bomb, and put it into the water to avoid nuclear contamination of the Houston _And he doesn't like it at all when someone else is driving_, she thought with a smile.

"It was a hobby," Don said. "Don't have enough time for it anymore."

"You won a few races." She nodded towards the awards.

"Yeah, some." It was as if it had happened in a different life. Don took the box and brought it back to the bedroom.

Liz thought about changing the subject. Red's try to get Aleko out of the country didn't work because Aleko had already been in custody. He would probably lead the police to the body and testify against her. Cooper had been furious when they had told him, but he was ready to help her in order to keep her out of prison.

No, it wasn't a good subject. She got up and followed Don to the bedroom...


	12. Chapter 12 - Concerns of the heart

_When Aleko is about to testify against Liz Red arranges a meeting with him. But he has to meet Caul at the same time. He makes a decision..._  
_(Different version of a scene in "The Deer Hunter", the way I would have liked to see it. Embedded in fictitious stuff.)_

* * *

"What?!" Don looked at Red, stunned. _He's always able to surprise me._ "You want me to do what?"

"I would do it myself, but I have to be someplace else at the same time," Red explained. "It's indispensable that I attend myself. Therefore, I need you to go to the other appointment."

Don felt cold sweat on his forehead. _This is way over the line._ "You always say that I look, feel, smell like cop."

"Sometimes, but in this case it doesn't matter. Be my man at the state department." Red smiled like a cat that had just eaten a mouse. "You're great at this role." He handed him the papers he had prepared. "Convince him. Tell him a heart-rending story - in the true sense of the word - and then offer him the deal. Can you do that?"

He had to do it for Liz and the task force. _The life of one man for the life of hundreds, maybe thousands._ His own words. _One small felony for many serious crimes._ "Yeah, I can do this."

"Fine." Red nodded to him. "And you're better be damn good!"

_Sometimes he's really a son of a bitch_, Don thought and got out of the car. 

* * *

Don felt his heart beat fast, and his hands were sweaty when he sat in his car, waiting for the prison transport to come by. He had to be good because so much depended on it. _I can do this_, he told himself. He had often watched Reddington telling the most unbelievable stories to suddenly turn and come to the point. He should have learned enough from him to be able to sell his story.

The transport came down the road and stopped. Don got out of his car and walked towards it. A cop looked at him in surprise, hadn't expected someone else.

"I'm Reddington's man at the state department," Don told him. "I'm here to handle the negotiations."

"Then go ahead," the cop replied and opened the door of the van. "You have three minutes."

_Three minutes!_ Don got into the van and sat down opposite to Aleko who looked at him in surprise, too.

"You know," Don began his story without hesitation, "when I was at school I had a class mate who had been born with a heart failure. His name was Henry Frentiss." _Always add a name_, he remembered Reddington's lecture, _make it personal_. "He tried everything to lead a normal life. His parents tried everything to make a normal life possible for him. Everyone in the class tried to give him the feeling there wouldn't be any difference. But in fact, everyone was aware of that he would die at a young age if there wasn't any new, suitable heart for him. Poor Henry could never take part in sports, he could never take part in anything that would have strained him too much. His lips were always blue which reminded us of how ill he was. Everyone tried to stop him from doing dangerous things, was worried he would drop dead every second. He often had been to hospitals. He got a pacemaker when he was fourteen."

_Lesson No. 2: If the original story isn't interesting, extreme, bizarre, or sad enough, make the rest up, exaggerate._"Two years later they implanted him an artificial heart. It must have been so strange for him to carry around this box with him that in fact was his heart, while there was a hole in his chest. You could hear the beating of that thing everywhere in the room."

"Why are you telling me this?" Aleko asked. He was careful, but Don was sure that he had reached him. _Although I'm not as good as Reddington_, he admitted to himself. _I'm a lousy storyteller._

"Because you can't even afford a heart in a box for your brother," Don replied. "Henry had been on the waiting list for years and finally died with 22." _I hope he's still alive!_ "How long will your brother have to wait? Two years? Longer?"

"They didn't say."

"My client is offering you a new heart for your brother, best hospital, best post medical care, enough money for nurses, rehab centres and whatever he needs to get his life back."

"Your client?" Aleko eyed him distrustfully.

"Let's say he's someone with a lot of money and a great interest in something."

"Interest in what?"

"In turning this case down," Don said, sharply. "This is what you are gonna say in the hearing. If you follow my instructions, your brother will get a new heart immediately afterwards." 

* * *

"Must have been really a heart-rending story that you told Aleko," Red remarked when they met in his car late at night. "He took back all allegations against Agent Keen, and instead, he incriminated himself. Good job, Donald."

Don was under the impression that Red would pat his head in the next moment, but fortunately, Red didn't do it. "Nevertheless, we should search the boat for evidence before Wilcox will do it."

"What kind of evidence?"

"Liz told me that she shot Aleko. There must be blood and a bullet. And maybe there is other evidence as well. You may explain Aleko's blood on his boat, but there shouldn't be any other DNA, and there shouldn't be a bullet."

"We cleaned up after we had brought the body away," Red said, "but I didn't know anything about a bullet. You are right. We should find it before Wilcox does." He paused, then he changed the subject. "How about your DNA-analysis?"

"We aren't blood related," Don replied, "it's only a match of under 5%. Maybe my mother and Masha were good friends, from the same area, and their families were somehow blood related at some point back in time."

"Hm." _It is stupid to be jealous_, Red told himself. _She will always be like a daughter to me. And Donald is the far better choice than Tom._ "You better make her happy then." His voice was strict.

_Now I'm the unsuitable boyfriend again._ Although something had changed. It seemed as if Reddington was going to accept it. "That's easier said than done. It's just an affair. She's still in love with Tom."

Red sighed. "Unfortunately, she is. And if Wilcox doesn't buy Aleko's story and will stick to the charges it may be unavoidable to get Tom back for a confession. But let's see if it is necessary."

"How did your appointment go?" Don dared to ask.

Red looked at him in surprised. He was about to refuse to answer, but then, he decided differently. "Not good. The person I was about to meet has been abducted or got killed. It'll cause a lot of trouble, I'm afraid." Another reason he needed Lizzie outside and the task force up and running.


	13. Chapter 13 - Hot lead

_When Wilcox brings the case to court Red decides that they have to find The Major in order to find out Tom's whereabouts._  
_Different version of the meeting with The Major. Instead of going there alone Red had to take Don with him._

* * *

"You vouched for him personally, Bill. I hired him on your recommendation." In the next moment Red got aware of that these words had been an awful mistake. He could almost feel Donald's presence behind him. Why hadn't he insisted on the agent waiting outside? Of course, it had been difficult to shut him out after he had told him that Eleonora and Tom had the same broker. _Why the hell did I do that? It was clear that he would insist on coming with me. _Why hadn't he at least stuck to his plan to ask The Major only about Tom's whereabouts? _I must be slipping_, Red thought in despair. _That is what happen when you let your emotions get in the way_. Now it was too late. The damage was done.

_Red hired Tom?_ Don thought in disbelief. _Why the hell would he do that?_ Sometimes he had had doubts about that Berlin had been Tom's employer - at least, not in the first place - because there would have been easier ways to get to Reddington, but Red himself?

He felt uncomfortable to be involved directly in one of Reddington's missions. First, the abduction of that guy who had been used then to lure The Major out of the shadows, now this secret negotiation with the broker of Tom - and of his mother. Red had tried to get rid of him, but Don had refused. He wanted to talk to The Major. It was his only chance to find out about what had happened to his mother.

He looked at the wild street fighter, mercenary, or whatever he was, but he didn't look at him. Then, he looked at Dembe, who gave him a short, friendly smile. Don's opinion about Dembe had changed when he had realized that Dembe had been a victim of the Eberhardt Cartel. Now his look seemed to say something like, _I've told him he should have told her months ago._

"You sold me an asset and then allowed him to turn when Berlin offered you twice as much," Red said.

_So, it's really true_, Don thought. _Red hired Tom in the first place, then Berlin cut in and used the opportunity. What a mess!_

The Major finally gave in and told Reddington about Tom's current assignment and location.

Now Don stepped forward and showed The Major a picture of his mother. "Eleonora Belynova. Is she still alive? Where is she?"

"This is too much," The Major refused. "That would be the second client I'd have to betray."

Red was about to say something, but Don had already grabbed The Major by the scruff of the neck. "I may be on Reddington's payroll, but I'm much more than that. I can arrest you right here, put you in a cell in a black site and let you rot there. You'll never get a trial, you'll simply disappear. I can take your business apart, piece by piece, compromise all your assets, take all your clients into custody. Tell me where she is and I might forget I've ever met you. Understood?"

The Major made an angry face. "She's currently in Tallinn, Estonia, working for a software company, Ferolak Meedia. It's about industrial espionage."

* * *

When they were alone Don turned to Reddington. "What does that mean you hired Tom in the first place? What for? To get that Fulcrum?"

"No." Red shook his head. There was no way out. He had got caught in his own trap. It was a terrible feeling. "To protect her and to fulfil one of her dreams. She always wanted to have a nice husband and a family. She wasn't very lucky with men, and I thought..." _Good Lord, that sounds insane_, he realized.

"...you should hire a guy to play her husband, so she could have a family with him?! Do you know how sick that is?" Don was shocked.

"Yes." Red's voice was low. He felt ashamed and forced onto the defensive. In his little negotiation game with Donald he suddenly was at a disadvantage. A very bad disadvantage.

"Why would you do that?" Don asked in disbelief. "Why would you try to give her a family?"

"To make her happy. All I ever wanted was to make her happy," Red explained. "I paid for her education, gave her everything she wanted... I know to give her a husband and a family was way over the line. I realized how stupid, sick and insane it was when Tom turned the table and started working for Berlin."

"That's why you surrendered to the FBI and insisted on speaking with her," Don understood. "It was a try to make things right."

"It was one of many reasons." Red felt uncomfortable, and he knew what Donald was going to ask next.

"But why would you want to make her happy? Are you her father?"

"No."

Don thought about it for a second. "Did you kill her father that night of the fire and feel guilty because of it?"

Red was about to distract Donald from the question by telling him something completely different. But he knew it wouldn't work this time. Not with Donald. If he didn't tell him, Donald would beat it out of him. At least, the younger man looked like as if he was going to beat it out of him. Red knew Donald's hot temper, and right now he looked furious. "Yes."

Don sat down on a chair, needed a moment to process what he had heard. "How did you kill him?" He finally asked.

"I shot him," Red replied. "Things got out of control..."

"So, you shot him in self-defence?"

"Not really," Red admitted, "I... I prevented your mother from committing a cold-blooded murder. She was hesitating, I took the gun from her and... shot him."

Don stared at him, shocked and in disbelief.

"Her only concern was Lizzie," Red explained. "He was about to take her with him. Of course, it was his right because he was her father. But we both knew he would endanger her. Maybe terrible things would have happen to her. We couldn't let it happen. The moment I shot him he was unarmed, Donald, there was nothing he could have done. He was an evil guy, yes, but it doesn't make it right, and it wasn't in self-defence. I took the only family away from her she ever had. Her mother was dead, I didn't know if Eleonora was family at all, but I knew she couldn't do much for her because she put herself in danger that night..." He was close to tears and had the feeling his inner pain would kill him.

"It was you who brought Liz to Sam," Don understood, "so that she would have someone who cares about her, at least."

"Yes. And to keep her safe."

Don saw the inner pain in Red's eyes and almost felt sorry for him. "Had you and Sam her memory erased?"

"Yes. She saw terrible things that night. She should have the possibility to grow up without being traumatized."

"Because of feeling guilty you forsook the flag, abandoned your family and your country?"

"There were other reasons... More evil things had happened that night."

"What kind of?"

"I... I can't tell you." No, he couldn't talk about these things. Not now. It was too painful. "You shouldn't try to find your mom, Donald, you will just endanger her, Lizzie, and yourself."

_Well, we will see about that_, Don thought. "You need to tell Liz, you need to explain to her what happened that night."

"I can't do that," Red replied in despair.

"You're afraid she could turn her back on you."

Donald was right, but Red preferred not to answer.

"You have to," Don insisted. "Otherwise, I will tell her."

"Donald, please..."

"No," Don said, sharply, "you asked me to make her happy. Now look at the situation I'm in. She's my partner, I'm her friend, at the moment also her lover. She trusts me. As the only one at the moment. The last thing I should do is lie to her or have secrets."

Red sighed deeply. "You're right."

"I'm coming with you to Germany to bring back Tom. Afterwards, you have three days to tell her. If you haven't done it by then, I'll do it myself." Don's voice was cold, and there was a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Red knew the agent was serious about that, no matter what he would say. Yes, he was at a very bad disadvantage. Because of his cowardice he had allowed Donald to take hold of the scene. Red looked at Dembe, and his look seemed to say something like, _I told you so._


	14. Chapter 14 - Trying

_This is an addition to the episode "Tom Keen". Sometime before they meet "the holiest man I've ever seen."_

* * *

It felt strange to travel with Reddington and Dembe. Of course, Don had flown with them in Red's jet, had been in his limousine, in the same hotel before. Nevertheless, it felt different being in their direct company. Especially after their argument.

It was different anyway. Things had changed when Don had realized that Reddington wasn't just a criminal, but that he was a former good guy who got caught in something evil and then had to make a decision. That he was torn between his good and his bad sides. He made himself blind for the bad side, had learned to be ruthless and violent. The good side was drowning in guilt and pain. That some of the things he did, his stories, his sometimes arrogant behaviour were there for not showing how scared and deeply conflicted he was in fact.

Liz was in a similar situation now. Because of her actions a man had been killed, a man who left a family behind. Don tried to walk in her shoes, but it was difficult for him because he would have never held Tom captive.

It was easier for him to understand Reddington. What if he was on an undercover mission that went wrong, he had to shoot and kill someone who had a little girl? A girl whose mother had died before, who had no other family, and was in danger because someone had given her a blackmail file. What would he do? _Probably the same as Reddington_, he had to admit to himself.

_But would I go as far as him and BUY her a husband? Probably not. On the other hand, guilt and the wish to make things right can eat you alive._

They were on their way to meet one of Reddington's assets somewhere in Dresden when Red suddenly asked Dembe to stop the car. "Come on, Donald, let's take a little walk."

"A walk? Where are we going to?"

But Reddington had already got out of the car. Don followed him. "To do what, Red?"

"Nothing," Red replied, "just a walk. Look at this," he pointed at the building in front of them. "Isn't it beautiful?"

Don looked at the palace in front of them. It was an old, big, impressive building with many sculptures, cartouches, gables. Everything was built with the greatest elaborateness. "Yeah, it's beautiful, but why are we here? We should..."

"Good God, Donald, you can't be that down-to-earth and unemotional that you are not even able to have some fun." Despite his suffering Red had always tried to live with full force. Otherwise, his depressions would have killed him by now.

"I'm not but..." Don sighed. From a certain point onwards his life had become more and more difficult and one-sided. It didn't leave much room for having fun, doing something completely different. His depressions weren't helpful, either.

"Your job eats you alive," Red understood. "Donald, you have to do something about it. Otherwise, it will kill you one day."

Don remembered the day in the box when Reddington had told him what he would like to do once more before he died, things he had never experienced. "I don't know how. As long as the task force is up and running I don't have much choice. And don't tell me I should leave the task force!"

"No, I won't tell you that," Red replied. "But I can show you this building. Of course, we don't have the time to explore it completely because it's too big. It's just a short field trip. Shall we?"

_Now he's like a father again_, Don thought, and it almost made him smile. _Maybe that's all he ever wanted to be._

"Dresden was an important king's court," Red explained. "This building is called the Zwinger. The name goes back to the Middle Ages and stands for a part of a fortification, the space between the outer and inner fortification wall to be exact, but the Zwinger itself was built in the beginning of the 18th century for August the Strong, a powerful Saxon king. The garden is even older and an example of old European landscape gardening, constructed at a time America had just being discovered. Nowadays the Zwinger is a museum, or rather many museums for old paintings, weapons, porcelain... You know Meissen porcelain, don't you?"

"I've heard of it." _He's giving me a lecture again_, Don thought, but he decided not to be that narrow-minded. Therefore, he followed Reddington into the courtyard and then into the garden. Both were public domain.

"It's a typical tourist feature," Red said, "but I thought you shouldn't leave Dresden - any city in the world - without having a look at the beautiful sides. It's not good for your soul to only look at the bad things."

"Is it that what keeps you alive?" Don asked. "To find something beautiful in all the shame, guilt and ugly things?"

"Yes." Red knew Donald was trying to understand him, and it gave him some hope. Maybe he could help Lizzie to understand, too.

"Were you forced to the decision to leave everything behind you or is it kind of self-punishment?"

"It's a bit of both. Mainly it is because of the feeling of having brought awful things to my loved ones, the feeling that all these evil things happened because of me. They didn't, but that's how it feels."

_Almost like Liz_, Don thought. _Probably it's the last thing he wanted, but it's happening._ "So, you think you deserve it?"

"Being punished?" Red looked at him and tried to guess what Donald was thinking. "Yes. But the ones who were responsible for the mess in the first place deserve it, too."

"Let me guess - you don't know who is responsible."

"I'm not completely sure," Red admitted. "Some pieces are still missing."

"That's another reason you surrendered to the FBI," Don assumed. "Why don't you just put your cards on the table and let us try to figure out together? Look, you keep telling us that it is too dangerous, but in fact we are standing still as long as you don't tell us."

"Oh, we are moving on," Red assured him. "With every blacklister we get a little closer." He stopped and turned to the younger man. "Donald, let me handle the big picture, alright? I may not know the exact connections, but I do know who we are dealing with. The FBI is too restricted, too obliged to protocols. I've spent 20 years in the shadows, in the world of crime to study their methods, to understand their motives. I did it for a reason. I know it is a lot to ask for, Donald, especially after hearing about Lizzie's father and Tom, but can you trust me in this point?"

It was really a lot to ask for. Don had already made the decision to travel to Estonia and talk to his mother. No matter what Reddington would say against it. And probably Red knew that. "I'll try."

Red was sure that Donald wouldn't listen to him but would go to see Eleonora. It wasn't the best choice, but on the other hand, he could understand him. To have a lead on her after so many years was too tempting. Lizzie would probably go with him because she was eager to find out something about her mother. He wouldn't be able to stop them from doing it. _I could keep them busy with the next name on the list_, he thought, but then, he decided to let them do it but to have them followed to keep them save. He could only hope that Eleonora didn't know the name of Lizzie's father or would keep it to herself.

He smiled at Donald. "Thank you."

"For what?" Don asked in surprise.

"For trying," Red replied, "trying to understand, to be honest, to mediate. I know it's difficult for you."


	15. Chapter 15 - The decision

_I wasn't happy about how Tom was brought back into play because in the end it wasn't necessary at all. In fact, it was Connolly who saved Liz not Tom. I thought about writing a different version of it. But then, I decided to go along with the events in the series because a connection between Tom and Eleonora was too tempting._  
_This chapter is about fictitious events after Red's speech to Liz at the end of the episode "Tom Keen" and after Tom called Liz._

* * *

"I think, Red just told me that he killed my father," Liz realized when she came to Don's apartment. She was trying to process the latest events, and some things only got clear to her now.

"What did he say?" Don asked. He helped her off with her coat, and they sat down on the couch.

Liz explained that she had wired some money put aside to Ames' daughter, and then she repeated what Red had told her. "He wasn't talking about Ames' daughter. He was talking about me. I didn't realize it at that moment, but..."

"Yeah," Don said with a sigh. "He did kill your father, and he feels guilty because of it."

"You knew it?" She looked at him, shocked.

"He admitted it to me a few days ago. I told him he should tell you. Otherwise, I would do it." He told her about the conversation he had with Reddington. "Did he tell you about Tom, too?"

"He gave him his life back to save me. Although he hates him."

"No, that it was he who hired Tom in the first place."

"What?! Why would he do that?"

Don explained to her Reddington's reasons, but Liz was confused, didn't know what to think. "He hired him because he wanted me to be happy?"

Don nodded. "Because he feels guilty."

Liz thought about what Red had told her. _You're just going through the motions to salve your own guilt. Look, all the money, all the time and effort, all the favours in the world cannot possibly equal what you took away from her_. "That's sick."

"That's pretty much what I said. But..." Don sighed deeply and put his hand on hers. "He came to the same conclusion. That he had carried it too far. He realized that he can't buy you a life. Now he is not only feeling guilty because of your father but also because of Tom. He made you suffer, although he likes you and wants you to be happy."

"Are you honestly trying to make excuses him?" She asked in surprise.

"No, I'm not. I just asked myself what I would have done in his position. I wouldn't have bought you a husband, but..." He shrugged.

_Well, I'm going to do the same thing with Ames' daughter_, Liz realized. _Give her something, although it's nothing in comparison what I took away from her. _"I'm not sure if I can forgive him that. I mean, he made things worse!"

"He's aware of it. And you don't have to forgive him, Liz."

"He called me," she changed the subject.

"Who?"

"Tom. He called me and asked me if I'm okay."

Don looked at her closely. That Tom had come back to save her definitely meant something to her. _She really is still in love with him._ He sighed inwardly. After all she had been through, after all they had been through together. _Oh no, I'm not going to fall in love with her, am I?_ "I hope you don't think you two might have a future, do you?"

"No, but..."

"Liz, listen to me." He took her by her shoulders, was about to shake her to wake her up, but he didn't do it. "Reddington told me that Tom is such a good covert operative because he convinces himself to be the person he's supposed to be. This means that you will never be sure whether he really loves you or whether he had just convinced himself so much that he BELIEVES he's in love with you. You understand the difference, don't you?"

Liz had to admit to herself that she had had hopes. Now she realized how naive she had been. "Yes."

"That's not even the main point. You may make yourself blind for it, but imagine you would have a family with him. Can you really live with the thought that the father of your children is a cold-blooded murderer? Because that's what he is, Liz! He may have been misguided, may have had an unhappy youth, may have enjoyed the quiet, happy life with you, may have fallen in love with you for real, but it doesn't change the fact that he murdered Jolene Parker, Eugene Ames and probably many more in cold blood."

"Yes." She closed her eyes in despair, huddled against him and wished she could simple erase her feelings for Tom. Instead, she should be in love with Don because he was the one who could really make her happy. "I'm so sorry, Don."

"About what?"

"About everything. That I brought this on you, that I'm with you but can't let Tom go..."

"I told you, it's not your fault that this thing was brought on us, and I told you, I understand that you simply can't switch off your feelings," he said, although he wished she would be able to forget Tom. "That Tom came back to save you must seem to you as if he did it because he loves you. It's difficult to understand that it's still all a fraud."

Liz looked up to him. "I wish I was in love with you."

"I..." Don was still struggling with his own feelings. He couldn't simply push Audrey aside. She would be always there somehow, but he had to find a place in his heart for her without feeling conflicted. On the other hand, he felt that he was about to find a place for Liz, too. "How about taking a few days off and fly to Estonia?"

"Estonia?"

"The Major gave me the current location of my mother."

"She's still alive?" Liz was excited immediately. _Go to hell, Tom, or whatever your name is._

"She's on an assignment there. Industrial espionage. Red thinks it's too dangerous, and probably he's right, but I think it's about time to take some of the actions in our own hands."

"If Red doesn't want us to go there, he will try to distract us with the next case," Liz assumed.

"Or he will have followed us. He asked me to trust him and let him handle the big picture, but I think he's aware of that I'll go to Estonia. And I think he'll let me do it."

"We should stop listen to him." Liz had enough of Red's games for the moment.

"No, he knows more than we do," Don disagrees. "We need him, he needs us. It's an alliance. But she's my mother not his, that's why he won't interfere, although he doesn't like it. It's definitely dangerous. Therefore, we shouldn't be bothered by the followers he will send after us to protect us."


	16. Chapter 16 - Estonia

_Liz and Don are in Tallinn, Estonia, and try to find Eleonora.  
(It's a longer chapter.)_

* * *

It was the second day that they were hanging out in front of the building of Ferolak Meedia, hidden in a car. They only knew the company Eleonora worked for, but they didn't know on which one she was spying or what name she was using. Her picture wasn't on the company's website, so the only thing they could do was to wait outside the building and hope that they would spot her entering or leaving it.

It was a boring job. Sometimes one of them left the car to get something to eat or drink or use the toilet. Sometimes they parked the car at different place so that they wouldn't arouse suspicion, but no one paid attention to them. It was a busy area with many new, modern office blocks, many people and cars.

To their surprise Tallinn was a beautiful, lively city with quite a young population. There was the old town with its lovely buildings, and the newer quarters with many companies and modern industry. Estonia might be a small country, but Tallinn was a rising star, and in opposite to most countries in the world Estonia had an increasing economy and wasn't heavily indebted.

Liz would have loved to explore the many little shops she had seen on the way to Ferolak Meedia, but she was determined to find Eleonora, the only one - except Red maybe - who could tell her something about her mother.

In the evening of this second day they were finally lucky.

"That's her," Don said when he spotted a blond woman entering the building. His heart beat fast. It was a strange feeling to see her after so many years.

"Are you sure?" Liz asked, feeling excited.

"Yeah, I'm positive."

They had to wait until Eleonora would leave the building again. Liz was impatient and anxious that they might miss her, or worse, she might leave the building through the back door.

But about half an hour later Eleonora left the building and went to a small blue car. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Don is right/em, Liz had to admit. Eleonora looked older than in the pictures, of course, but it was definitely her, still beautiful, dressed with elegant business clothes, the blond, long hair pinned up.

They followed her car, left a lot of space between them, so that they sometimes were about to lose her, but in the end they managed it to see her parking the car in front of a little house in the outskirts of the city, not far from the sea.

It was quite a lonely area with some woods around it, but there were still some neighbours who might have wondered what they were doing there. Luckily, it was already dark.

They parked the car in a lane that led into the woods, and went back to the house, carefully, hidden in the shadows.

Their follower had more difficulties to hide because he had to watch the area and had to hide from them as well.

It was a single family house, quite small, two-storey, with a flat roof. There was a light behind most of the windows, and they sneaked closer, tried to find out whether Eleonora was living on her own or with someone else. But there was no sign of someone else. Therefore, they dared to knock at the door.

It took a few seconds before Eleonora answered the door, and some more seconds before she realized who he was.

Her apathetically face turned into a shocked one, then into a delighted but also sad one. "Don," she whispered in disbelief.

Although he wanted nothing more than to embrace her, he had to think about her and Liz' safety. "Can we talk here? Or is it too dangerous?"

"I don't think I'm watched," she replied, "but we've better go to a back room." She gestured them to come in and follow her upstairs and there into a bedroom that obviously wasn't used often.

There she turned to them and embraced Don, crying now. "I thought I would never see you again," she said in Russian, "and yes, it's far too dangerous. You shouldn't be here."

She had changed, but for a little moment it was as it used to be when he had been a child. He had to fight back his tears and tried not to think about how much he had missed her. Many memories of his childhood were forced on him, small things, like snap-shots. "I'm a big boy now," he said with a forced smile, also in Russian. "I can watch myself. I'm with the FBI, you know?"

"FBI?" Eleonora stared at him. "Is that how you found me?"

"No, The Major told me."

"Is he in custody?" She asked anxiously.

"No, I had to let him go. It was part of the deal. Nevertheless, I'm aware of that it is dangerous for you. Therefore, we won't stay long." It almost broke his heart to know that they would have to leave her behind, on her own again, on a dangerous mission. _Maybe one day_, he tried to console himself, _I can bring her home._

Eleonora was also aware of that it might be the last time they would see each other. It made her cry even more. On the other hand, she had thought she would never see him again at all. She had always hoped she would meet him one day, just to see if he was fine, what had become of him, if he was happy. She told herself she should be glad about this little moment she could be with him.

He had really grown up. Of course, it was almost 25 years ago. Back then, he had been ten years old, a calm, patient child, often too serious. She wished she had been less strict, had given him more leeway. On the other hand, it was his nature. He had never been easy-going.

Now Eleonora got aware of that there weren't alone, and she looked from Don to Liz.

"That's Liz," Don said in English, "Elizabeth, probably Masha's daughter."

Eleonora stared at her in surprise, and it took her a moment to recognize the little girl in her. "Yes, you look a bit like your mom."

"Really?" Liz asked curiously. She was close to tears herself because it felt heart-warming to watch mother and son meeting after so many years.

"You have her eyes, the face is quite similar..."

They sat down on the bed, with Eleonora sitting close to her son, holding his hand tightly. "How did you two find each other?"

"Through Reddington," Don replied.

"Reddington?"

"I'm the case agent, and Reddington insisted on speaking with Liz when he surrendered to the FBI. That's how we became partners without knowing that there's a connection between us in the past."

"He's working with the FBI now?" Eleonora asked in disbelief. "So he's tying up loose ends?"

"It seems so," Don replied. "We are not completely sure yet what he's up to. That's why we thought we should learn something about the events back then."

Eleonora nodded. "You are here to talk about that night."

"I would like to hear about my mother," Liz said. "I don't know anything about my real parents. I feel so... rootless."

Eleonora looked at her, thoughtfully. Finally, she decided to start with the less complicated story. "Well, Masha and I knew each other from a young age. We grew up in the same village in Karelia, Russia. It's a lonely area at the border to Finland. Many woods. It's a town named Lesogorsky. There's a motorway and some wood industry, but in fact, it's in the middle of nowhere, nothing to do, a large spread village, some farms, a few houses. Our families were related, not closely, though, but Masha lived with us after her parents had died. We grew up as sisters, and we used to spend the days with playing on the farm of my parents. We were sent to a boarding school together in Vyborg, as it was too far to drive there every day, about 100 kilometres."

"Do you still have family in Leso... your hometown?" Liz asked.

"I don't know. We never got back, never got in touch later. I had a brother. Nikolaj. Or Nikita, as we used to call him. Maybe he still lives there." Eleonora paused. "To live in Vyborg was great fun." She smiled. "The school was strict, but we had our ways to make it livable. Well, and then we were abducted." Her face got serious. "Not far from the school."

"How old were you?" Liz tried to imagine what the two of them had gone through, but she realized that she would never be able to.

"Ten. We were in the same age. We could stay together and help each other, but both of us died somehow. We were dead inside."

Liz wished she would go on, but Don knew she wouldn't tell them what had happened to them. She had always avoided that subject.

"A few years later we were rescued. At least, we thought we were rescued. The man, The Major, he was friendly at first. He brought us to the US, gave us new identities, so that we would be safe from the cartel. He told us that we could be anything we wanted, become rich and have a good life. But then it became clear that there was a price to pay, and that it wasn't much better than the cartel in the end."

"What did you have to do?" Liz asked.

"Different espionage jobs," Eleonora replied. "Masha and I often lost touch with each other. Therefore, I'm not sure what her assignment was about when she gave birth to you," she said to Liz. "She was probably spying on your father, I guess. She had always been depressive. After she had given birth it got worth. She got seriously ill and finally died."

Liz felt sad and disappointed. She didn't know what she had expected but something better than that. "Do you know who my father is?" When Eleonora hesitated, she added, "Reddington doesn't want to tell me. He says, it's too dangerous for me to know."

"He's right," Eleonora said. "Your father was... To know his identity would put you in grave danger. Reddington killed him to keep you safe. In fact, he prevented me from shooting him myself." She paused. "But his power didn't end with his death," she told Liz, "and that's why it is better for you not to know who he was. At least, not at the moment. Maybe when his organization is down."

"So, his organization is still active?"

"Oh, yeah."

"I found the microfilm," Don said. "Is he in one of the pictures? Ace of hearts?"

Eleonora sighed. "I should have never given it to you. No, it's not ace of hearts. Why do you think that?"

"I think I remember the gold ring. I think I saw it that night." That Eleonora refused to tell her the name of her father, too, got Liz thinking. Maybe Red was really right to protect her from these events.

"You probably remember it because ace of hearts was there that night, too." Eleonora let her hair down, let her fingers run through it, agitated. "Your father was ace of clubs," she finally said.

Liz had been that fixated on ace of hearts that she could hardly remember the face of ace of clubs. _I'll have to look at the picture again._

"Who's my father then?" Don asked, using the opportunity. "One of the other aces?"

"No. He was one of The Major's boys. I couldn't tell you back then because otherwise, I had to tell you about The Major. He was an orphan The Major had promised the kingdom on earth," she said sarcastically. "He was such a nice boy." She smiled sadly. "Always gentle and kind. He wasn't up to that business and was killed on one of his missions. I named you after him."

There was an explanation about that finally. He had always wondered why his mother gave him a Celtic name whereas she was Russian and the ancestors of the father he grew up with were German.

"Mark and I had a deal," Eleonora said. "He needed a presentable wife for his family - you know what his father was like - and the job, but he didn't want to give up his free life. He still wanted to go to the clubs, meet girls, have fun... So, he gave us his name, a quiet life, money, protection, a good education for you. Luckily, he had always liked you, and when he got wiser and you older his interest in you increased. He and I were good friends... In the end it was a good deal."

Yes, his father really had grown into his role. They had had their arguments, but in the end they had been on good terms. Sometimes Don missed him as much as he missed his mother.

_She was happy with the life she had with her husband and her son_, Liz thought, feeling guilty again, _maybe the first time after she had been abducted. And she gave it up because of me._

There was a moment of silence before Liz asked, "What was the whole thing about? The fire, the espionage...?"

"I can't tell you everything because I don't know everything," Eleonora explained. "And some things - like the name of your father - are too dangerous for you to know at the moment. But I can tell you that in the centre of all this is a clandestine international organization. It is responsible for the global balance if you want so. They watch the politics, the markets, try to mediate if necessary and possible. They have done many good things like preventing a nuclear war between the US and the Soviet Union, but sometimes they also have to take actions that aren't so... let's say popular."

"Are they something like the Freemasons?" Don asked. "Or is it a secret government organization?"

"No, not the Freemasons, and it isn't a government institution, either. Some of their members are politicians, though, members of intelligence agencies, business leaders... It's something like a clandestine government of the world. Well," Eleonora went on, "one of their meetings was recorded, a meeting about a not so popular matter. It was recorded by one of their own members - I don't know who, and I think they don't know it, either - who then tried to blackmail the other members to intervene in a special event. When they refused he threatened to sell the recording. It could make the world tremble, it could mean to become a global leader. But in fact, it would just cause a lot of trouble. The world you know wouldn't exist anymore." She paused. "At the time, there were only four organizations that would have been able to afford the high price and could have a real use for it."

"The four aces stand for these organizations?" Don assumed.

"Yes, for their leaders at that time."

"Why was Reddington the trump card?"

"Honestly, I don't know what he was supposed to do," Eleonora admitted. "I got aware of him the first time in that night. Maybe he had nothing to do with it at all but got caught in it somehow."

"Can you tell us anything about the aces?"

She hesitated before she answered. "I had been hired by the organization of ace of spades to spy on ace of hearts. I've not a clue about the organization of ace of diamonds. Someone in South Africa. Therefore, I called him ace of diamonds. Ace of spades are in the real estate business. They build, buy, sell houses and buildings in all parts of the world. In fact, it's about money laundering, a kind of bank for criminals. You may have a look at Wellington Real Estate. But be careful. They are very powerful and dangerous. Ace of hearts are using charity organizations to hide their real business - kidnapping, human trafficking... They are a head organization for organizations like the Predinksi Cartel. It's difficult to get to them. The easiest way is probably to take down one of the bigger cartels and hope it will lead you to the head."

Liz and Don looked at each other. A bank for criminals and a cartel in the human trafficking business sound pretty familiar to them.

"Ace of clubs is... well, he was the head of... His organization plans the rise and fall of politicians, companies... They let people disappear, appear to be dead... I can't tell you much about it. It's a highly powerful and dangerous organization."

The Kingmaker, The Alchemist, maybe Milton Bobbit, and Gina Zanetakos. There really was a larger pattern to the cases Reddington gave them.

_He knows what he's doing_, Don thought, _and he probably has a good reason for approaching these organizations slowly and carefully._

"In the night of the fire," Liz said, "all these organizations came together to negotiate about the blackmail file that could expose the clandestine organization?"

"No." Eleonora shook her head. "The negotiations about the blackmail file had turned into a game of espionage. Everyone spied on everyone. Then, ace of clubs stole the recording and was hunted by the other organizations. Everyone was after him, tried to kill him, to get the recording. That put you in danger, too," she said to Liz. "Therefore, I followed ace of hearts when I got aware of that he had a lead on ace of clubs. Of course, ace of hearts would know then that I was spying on him, of course, I knew that I endangered my family with it. I had no idea what I should do with you, but I couldn't let you be with your father."

"Red is right about one thing." Liz put her hand on Eleonora's. "Don is really a lot like you. Thank you so much for trying."

Eleonora gave her a sad smile before she went on, "Well, ace of hearts went to a house I didn't know. Later I learned that it was Reddington's."

"The fire was in Reddington's house?" Don asked in surprise. "But there was nothing about a fire in the reports."

"I don't know why." Eleonora shrugged. "I only know that it was his house. I went in through the back door, upstairs and burst in a wild argument between ace of clubs, ace of hearts, Reddington and some other guys, probably from the other organizations or... I don't know. It was a children's room, probably the room of Reddington's daughter. The men were surprised to see me, I asked for you, we argued some more, it became clear that ace of clubs gave the recording to you somehow, ace of hearts were looking for you, pulled you out of a closet in which you were hiding, the argument became a fight, the damn candle fell from the dresser, the curtains caught fire... Ace of hearts, angry about that he couldn't find out where the Fulcrum was hidden, burnt your hand so that you were recognizable. Then, he knocked Reddington down, he and the other guys left in a hurry, ace of clubs tried to take you with him, I tried to stop him, we fought over the gun he had. I finally got it, but then I hesitated. Reddington came after us - he was heavily burnt, but he had managed somehow to survive and to extinguish the fire - took the gun from me and shot ace of clubs. He told me to leave, promised me that he would take you to a safe place. Somehow I trusted him, and I didn't have much choice because I had just blown my cover so that you wouldn't have been safe with me. Especially not with that scar. The girl with the Fulcrum. Nevertheless, I hesitated. Then, he took me to the hall, showed me the bodies of his family, told me that this would happen to me, my family, and Elizabeth, too, if I didn't leave. Therefore, I left and had to trust in him that he would keep you safe."

"But Reddington's family is alive," Don said in confusion. "He abandoned them that night, they were questioned and later taken into protective custody."

"His family was murdered that night," Eleonora insisted. "His wife, his daughter, a newborn baby, the family dog... Or maybe the baby had been cut out of its mother's body... They had been... slaughtered. There was blood everywhere... body parts... It was the most horrible thing I had ever seen in my life." She still shivered when she thought about it.

Liz and Don looked at each other in shock and disbelief. Why did Red save Naomi Hyland? Why did he try to find Jennifer? How were they involved? Did he have two families? An official one and a hidden one?

Liz had to think about the story Red told The Stewmaker. _It was his own story! He told me what had happened to him._ She remembered the man on the floor of the burning room. She thought it had been her father, but obviously it had been Reddington. Ace of hearts, the man with the gold ring, hadn't given the bunny to her, he had pulled her out of the closet, and he had been the one who burnt her, not her father. Don was right, she remembered everything but in a different way.

"He doesn't know who did it," Don realized. "Ace of clubs, ace of hearts or someone else."

Eleonora nodded. "And who told that someone that he was involved at all? Or maybe he wasn't involved directly, but why they should have met in his house?"

"He doesn't know that, either," Liz said. "That's why he left the country, that's why he's back now. He wants to find out who did this to him. Why didn't he tell us? I mean, this is horrible!"

"He had to establish value and trust first," Don said, "and now everyone is too deeply involved, he's too proud to accept help..."

"But he needs our help," Liz argued.

"Yeah, but don't show him. Men hate that. Especially when it comes from a woman."

_Oh_, she thought, _he didn't like it when I tried to help him, when I saved him from the fake hospital._

"He's right that we should be careful," Don added. "Probably it's really better when we let him lead the way. We know too little and will probably just cause a lot of trouble. We should give him the Fulcrum and see what will happen next."

Liz didn't like the plan, but she knew he was right. They were really dealing with someone very dangerous. "Someone told me that my father is still alive."

"Can't imagine that," Eleonora replied. "The bullet hit him right in the chest."

_Why did Tom tell me that? To confuse me? Or did he really survive somehow?_ Liz asked herself, but then she changed the subject. "Do you have a picture of Masha?"

Eleonora hesitated for a moment, but then she took off the silver locket she was wearing at a chain around her neck and gave it to Liz. "These are the only pictures of her that I have."

Liz opened the locket. There were two pictures inside. One was black-and-white and showed two little girls, maybe about eight years old, in front of a farmhouse, the other one showed the same girls as grown-ups, posing with a baby on a bench in a garden.

"That was a few days after you were born," Eleonora told her with a smile. "We were able to meet, chat a bit, and when someone came by I asked him to take some pictures with my camera."

"Oh, that's me?" Liz was delighted because she had never seen any baby pictures of herself. She really bore some resemblance to her mother, but it saddened her that Masha looked tired and depressed, although she was smiling in that picture. In the last few months she had looked that way herself. She knew that. Although everyone just wanted her to be happy - Sam, Reddington, even Tom.

"You can keep it," Eleonora said when Liz wanted to give the locket back to her.

"You don't have to... I can't..."

"Masha would have liked it that you have it." Eleonora smiled at her. It was a sad smile, though. She knew that they had to go now. Maybe this was really the last time she saw her son. "I hope you are not angry with me," she said to him.

"I never was," Don assured her.

"I've always loved you, and I always will." Now she was crying again, and he had to fight back his tears when he embraced her. He wished so hard that they could take her back with them that it caused a terrible inner pain.

_This is an awful tragedy_, Liz thought and cried with them. They had found each other after such a long time, and now they had to say goodbye again. Maybe they would never see each other again, would never find out if something happened to one of them.

Don put his arm around her shoulders and included Liz in the hug. _It feels like family_, she thought, and she wished she could have this feeling forever.

"Are you two a couple?" Eleonora asked suddenly.

"Not really," Don replied, "well, we're having an affair, but..."

"You know, that day the picture was taken Masha and I were joking that one day her girl would marry my boy." Eleonora laughed when she remembered that moment. She wiped her tears off. "Maybe you just have to try harder," she said with a smile.


	17. Chapter 17 - The promise

_As they have still a few days off they decided to stay a little longer, and Liz makes Don go on a shopping tour in Tallinn with her._  
_(In fact, it's three little chapters in one. ;))_

* * *

"Wow, this is beautiful!" Liz exclaimed in delight when they walked through the streets of the old town of Tallinn.

"It belongs to the UNESCO World Heritage List," Don said who had read a guidebook. "Probably because it's such a large old town not just a few remains."

It was surrounded by a medieval fortification wall; the buildings, however, were from different centuries. They did some sightseeing with Don taking the lead (because he had read that book) before Liz got her own way to explore the many little shops in the narrow alleys.

There were American and Western European shops, too, but most of them were Estonian. The shop-owners were surprisingly young and many of them offered artful, individual, modern clothes, jewellery and other stuff.

Liz got in a fever of excitement whenever she discovered something new (which happened about every ten minutes), whereas Don's mood got worse with every new shop, and their follower had difficulties not to lose sight of them. There were too many people, too many corners and too many shops.

_You shouldn't leave any city in the world without having a look at the beautiful sides._ Reddington's lecture. _Yeah, but does it have to be one beautiful piece from EVERY shop we got by?_ Don had lost track of the alleys, the shops, the bags. _You better make her happy then._ Well, at the moment she definitely was happy. She was in awe, smiling all along, her eyes were shining. Don tried to convince himself that it was worth it, but he had never been a shopping guy.

"We should find something for you, too," Liz said when they walked by a shop for men's fashion.

"No!" Don said at once. "I don't need any new clothes."

She eyed him. _He looks so much better in jeans than in a suit_, she thought, _suits and ties make him look uptight. But something more modern would be nice._ "These jeans would look great on you." She pointed at the pair she had in mind, got closer to him and whispered, "They would make you look hot. Especially here." Her hand stroked his bottom.

Although he was aroused by her words, the touch of her hand, and her tempting look he shook his head. "I hate trying on clothes in a shop."

"Well, then don't try them on, just buy them," Liz said, took him by the hand and made him come with her into the shop.

The shop-owner smiled at him, seemed to understand how he was feeling. But he couldn't prevent him from Liz' buying frenzy. Of course, it soon became more than just a pair of jeans. Don told himself that he should give in. It seemed to be the best strategy to survive.

Liz noticed that he wasn't in the best mood, but she decided to ignore it. That's how he was. Tom would have smiled all along, would have told her how beautiful she was and what fun it was to go shopping with her. She realized that she could never be sure which of his actions had been for real and which he had simply done as part of his job. No matter what he would say, no matter if he really loved her. Maybe there had been many things he had disliked in fact. Don might not like to go shopping with her, but she was better off with it because she knew that it was for real.

She could have spent some more hours exploring the shops, but she finally gave in to Don's silent protest, and they sat down in one of the many cafés.

_It would have been awesome if we had done this tour with Eleonora_, Liz thought. She would have loved it to be with her. _It would have put Don in a better mood, too. It must feel strange for him to know that she's in the same city, but he can't visit her again._

"It must be lovely to be here in summer," Liz said to distract herself from her sad thoughts. "When everyone is sitting outside, enjoying the sun, watching all these people walking by..."

"Maybe we can come back in summer one day." _Hopefully without shopping_, Don thought. _Girlfriends can be a challenge._ He came across his own thought. _Is she my girlfriend?_

"What is it?" Liz asked when she noticed that he was looking at her.

Don shook his head. "Nothing. But I have a present for you."

"A present?"

"Suits the locket." It took him a moment to find the little package in one of the many bags. He was pleased that she hadn't noticed that he had bought it.

It was a small silver bracelet, and really, it was made in the same style as the locket, with the same lines that were shaped to something that looked a bit like a snake curled up to an eight that was open at the sides. "Oh, thank you so much!" Liz was delighted. She felt warm inside. _It had been such a good thing to come here_, she thought, _with him_. She smiled at him, leaned forward and kissed him, very tenderly this time.

It was a different feeling as usual, they both noticed it. Something had changed. It was not longer just wild and passionate. Maybe it wasn't love, but it was a deeper feeling now. For a moment, both of them feel uncertain about its meaning.

Therefore, Liz asked, "Does the symbol have a special meaning? Is it Russian or Karelian? There's a difference, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's Karelian," Don replied. "The symbols that are used in Karelian jewellery are very old, some of them go back thousands of years. This is a symbol for success and the course of life."

They ate in silence before something else crossed Liz' mind. "Do you think that Red sees his daughter in me because his daughter was murdered that night and the fire broke out in her room? Is this the reason he wants me to be happy whatever it may take?"

"Possible." The information that Reddington's family had been murdered that night had confused Don. "I don't understand how Naomi Hyland and Jennifer suit the picture."

"Me neither. We'll have to ask him," she said. "You're right that it is his turn again, but I think this journey was important for all of us."

* * *

A few hours later they were back at their hotel, and Liz tried on a new negligee in the bathroom. It was dark blue with white lace, suited her eye colour and the new jewellery. But she was preoccupied, thought about Eleonora, Masha, Don, Red, the situation they were in.

"You know what?" Liz came out of the bathroom, went over to the bed and sat down on Don's lap, facing him, putting her hands on his shoulders. "I want to have your child." She had always wanted to adopt, but now she couldn't think of anything better than having an own child. Not with Tom or anyone else. She wanted it with Don.

"You..." He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "What?!"

"I want to have your child," she repeated.

"Like right now?" He asked ironically to hide his thoughts.

"We could practise right now." Liz gave him a tempting look. "But no. Not yet."

Don wasn't sure what to think of it. It was true that he had always wanted to be a father, have a family. He couldn't have it with Audrey. That was for sure. But with Liz? On the other hand, how many possibilities both of them would have? They would hardly both meet the dream partner of their lives. Not while the task force was still up and running. And probably not right after it. They both had no social life at all. No, when the task force would end they both would be alone, isolated. Maybe she was his only chance to have a family, and he was her only chance to let that dream come true.

Their relationship had changed. He didn't know what it was at the moment, but it definitely wasn't an affair anymore.

"Not long ago people WERE married," Liz explained her thoughts to him. "Their families made arrangements, and then the couple had to get on. In some cultures this is still a usual practice. Now look at this - when we were children our mothers decided that we two should marry one day. We knew nothing about each other. Nevertheless, we met one day. That's fate!"

"So, you think we should listen to our mothers?"

"Yes. We both like each other, we both want a child - I know you do! - we have nothing to lose. So, let's use the time we are still in the task force to see if we can live with each other. You know, open tubes of toothpaste, open toilet lids," _pancakes_, she added in her thoughts, "all these little things that can drive you crazy. When the task force is over, and we are both still alive and have found out that we get on - we're having a family."

"That's not really romantic," Don said with a half smile.

She looked at him in surprise. "I didn't think of you to be romantic."

He wasn't, but he had to be sure about his feelings. _I'm scared_, he realized. _I'm scared of losing her, being hurt again. But fear is a bad adviser._ Deep down in his heart he knew that he loved her. He just had to allow himself to become aware of this feeling.

"You don't know me well enough." Don put his hands under her negligee and grasped her round the waist.

She leaned forward, closer to him, embraced him. "That's why I should get to know you better."

"You mean, before you marry me and have my child?" Don asked ironically. He kissed the curve of her neck, pulled her closer.

"Are we engaged now?" Liz asked with a provoking smile.

"Do I have to buy you a ring?"

"You already have." She pointed at the bracelet. Of course, it wasn't a ring. But even if he bought her a ring, it would never have the same meaning as this bracelet because he gave it to her without a special cause. He gave it to her because he wanted to give it to her.

"You are easy to please." Don dragged her down with him on the bed. He let the fear go, focused on the moment, her warm body on his, her sweet taste, the new feeling that wasn't only about sexual desire.

"At the moment I am," she whispered. Yes, she was pleased. And happy. No one had to buy or arrange it for her. She had found it herself.

* * *

On their last day in Tallinn they went to the beach. It was too cold to go for a swim, but they both enjoyed the fresh air, and the feeling of being far away from all their duties, far away from the evil they had to deal with.

"If we are lucky, we may find amber," Don said. "The beaches of the Baltic Sea are full of it."

They tried to find some, but they weren't lucky. Liz wasn't bothered by it. She was happy to be with him. _If I just could stop time!_/ She could be here forever, with her hand in his, feeling safe and secure. "I wish we could stay here. It's a beautiful town, the people are friendly. We could live in one of these old houses, work in one of these office blocks, send our children to an international school..."

"Yesterday you talked about ONE child," he cut her off.

"Well, you always start with one child," she replied with a cheeky smile. "Unless they are twins."

Don stopped and turned to her. "Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Let's try this. Learn to live together, get on, find out what we like or dislike. All that stuff. See whether we should have a family. Maybe we are the worst couple and the worst parents on earth."

Liz smiled at him, happily. NOW it was about time to give up the motels. A difficult time was coming up to them, but with him at her side she should be able to go through it.

In fact, she was scared of going back. Not because of Reddington, the task force, the cases but because of Tom. She knew he would turn up again one day and would try her new feelings. She hoped that she was strong enough to overcome the temptation, that her feelings for Don were strong enough.

"And yes, we are engaged now." He took out the ring from his pocket. It had been a difficult decision. For about a year he had been thinking that he would never be engaged again. On the other hand, he shouldn't spend the rest of his life in agony. It would be like self-punishment for something he hadn't done.

"You didn't have to..." But she couldn't deny how much it meant to her.

"Well, the bracelet was a present, the ring is a promise," Don explained to her. "The promise to try it seriously and honestly. To give it a real chance."

_That's the real difference to Tom_, Liz realized. With him it had just been romantic, a bit twee. Don was too uptight, too serious, maybe too proud to go down on his knees and ask her if she was going to marry him. He wouldn't do things just to make her happy. They both would have to work for this relationship. But she was up to it. This time it was different. This time it was for real.


	18. Chapter 18 - Conciliation

_A few days later. Liz and Don meet Red in one of his safe houses._

* * *

They were back. They had come back to him. Lizzie had come back to him.

Red noticed that she looked much better. She put up some make-up, was wearing a new, snappy blouse, did something with her hair and didn't look so tired, strained and depressive anymore. And finally, someone had convinced her that she was a winter type. Probably one of the young Estonian fashion designers. It made him smile, and to his pleasure and relief she smiled back, a friendly, relaxed smile.

"Seems you two had a good time in Tallinn," he remarked. "Did you learn anything?"

"Yeah, we learned a few things." Don took the photos from the microchip out of his briefcase and gave them to Red, explained what Eleonora had told them about the aces, the events of that night. Also, that she had refused to tell them the name of Liz' father. He left out, however, that Eleonora had told them about Red's family.

"She's a wise woman." Red was satisfied. He didn't learn anything new, but at least, Eleonora had been sensitive enough to protect Lizzie from the identity of her father. "I'll have her watched," he said to Donald, "to make sure that she's safe."

"Thank you."

"Does the ring have a special meaning?" Red asked.

Liz wasn't sure how he would react to it, but it would be wrong not to tell him. He would find out anyway. "It's a promise ring."

Red noticed how happy she was about it and looked at Donald. _Maybe it was the best thing ever to let them travel to Estonia_, he thought. Their follower had told him about the shopping tour and the afternoon at the beach, but he hadn't got close enough for any details. _Donald is really able to surprise me now and then._

_He would be something like my father-in-law_, Don thought with a little shiver. The way their relationship had changed amazed him again and again.

"Congratulations," Red said. "Well, then this is the right engagement present I guess." He gave Lizzie an envelope.

"What is it?" She asked.

"An address and a key to your new apartment. I bought it for you, but it's big enough for two. Donald's apartment is a bit small, isn't it? And you should stop living in motels, Lizzie."

"You give us an apartment?" Liz was stunned, didn't know what to say.

"Yes."

"That's corruption, you know that?" Don asked.

"Is it?" Red countered, pretending to be surprised.

"You don't own a single legally earned dime, and we are both feds. Accepting this present is like being really on your payroll."

"You're right, but look at the bright side," Red suggested with a cheeky smile. "Your apartment is too small, Lizzie doesn't have an apartment at all, you would have to invest an amount of money in a new apartment - and now you don't have to."

Don and Liz looked at each other, uncertain what they should think about it.

_We have to discuss that later_, Liz thought, and changed the subject. "Why didn't you tell us that your family had been murdered that night?"

The next burden Eleonora had removed from him. Red felt relieved because he would have never been able to tell them. "It's nothing I like to speak about," he explained with a forced smile.

"Who are Naomi Hyland and Jennifer then?" Don asked.

"There are still a few things I can't tell you* without endanger you and other people. I need you to trust me in this point."

_Tallinn and Eleonora had been a very good idea_, Red said to himself, bewildered, when Liz and Don accepted his request with a simple nod. _I should try to get Eleonora out of her contract with The Major and bring her back to the US. She might be useful._

"What I can tell you is the following," he went on. "When that member of the clandestine organization started to blackmail them they reached out to the ONI.** I was assigned to the case. My job was to find out which member was the betrayer and to get the Fulcrum back. When your father - ace of clubs is a great name for him by the way - stole the Fulcrum and got into trouble someone from the clandestine organization - I don't know who - told him that I was involved. That's why he came to my house that night. Those I was supposed to help betrayed me to him and others. Everyone seemed to be at my house that night. It was like a meeting of the underground world."

He paused, sighed deeply. "I was late because I ran out of gas and had to walk a few miles. When I reached the house..."

"They were already dead," Don assumed when Red didn't go on.

"Yes." Red avoided to look at them. The memories of that night were still too painful. "I finally went upstairs, many people were there... We had an argument... Then Eleonora came in. Until then, I didn't know you were there," he said to Lizzie and tried to smile.

There was a moment of silence. Then, Liz took the Fulcrum out of her pocket and gave it to Red. "I hope you know how it works."

"I've no earthly idea," he admitted and looked at it. He had never seen it before, he had only known that it existed and that Lizzie had it somehow. "But I will find out." This time his smile was more confident. "Ready for the next name on the blacklist?"

* * *

_* Too be honest I don't know it yet. I'll have to think about it. :D_  
_** Office of Naval Intelligence_

_Let's see what the next episode is about. If there's anything I can use for a sequel, or if it contradicts my story so that I've to go on with complete fiction. Any suggestions or wishes for the fiction? :)_


End file.
